


Serpentine

by SkyTintedWater



Category: Psych
Genre: AU, Canon Divergence, Jealousy, Lassiet - Freeform, Multi, Pining, Polyamory Negotiations, Porn With Plot, Shassie, Shassiet, Shules, Slow Burn, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Threesome - F/F/M, polygamous relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2018-11-01 11:14:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 29,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10920681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyTintedWater/pseuds/SkyTintedWater
Summary: Lassie and Jules, sitting in a tree. K.I.S.S.I.N.G. First comes love, then comes complications, and then comes a woman named Shawn.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is AU, and there are some major changes (ie Shawn shows up in season 2 instead of season one), but I tried to stick as close to the show as possible.  
> I made Shawn female because I read [Baby Steps](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5798683/chapters/13365130) by Vanya_Instance and liked the idea of Female!Shawn.

They'd met because a junior officer had spotted Lassiter stroking his partner's hair. The officer had gossiped, word made it to the Chief's ears, and Lucinda Barry had been asked to leave. 

Enter Juliet. 

She'd been unhappy with her assignment at first: her natural cheeriness overflowed through to others so they couldn't help but be nice to her. In Miami she'd been known to get Christmas cards from people she'd arrested. But smiling at Head Detective Carlton Lassiter was like smiling at a marble bust. 

She'd spent a week wondering if she should ask the Interim Chief of Police for a different partner - and then they'd gone to investigate a horse theft at a local pony club. They'd split up to interview the owners, and when she'd returned to the stable to look for her partner she saw him handfeeding a foal while singing softly to it. She'd bitten her lip hard in an effort not to laugh out loud, quietly backed away, and then practically stomped her way back in so that he would have time to disappear behind his hard-assed mask. 

Back at the station, Juliet cancelled her meeting with the Chief. Chief Vick called her into the office anyway, to 'See how you're settling in.'

'Really well,' said Juliet. 'I think moving here was the right decision.'

The Chief nods and sends her away, with a request to translate an email from Spanish to English. Juliet does, and when she'd finished she files Lassiter's reports for him, and tells him to head home early. He ignores her request, but he (grudgingly) thanks her for the paperwork.

It's a start.

For the next year, they dance towards and away from each other - she tries to throw him a surprise birthday party that goes horribly wrong. He buys her a coffee and spills it on her keyboard. She helps him move house. He consoles her when Mittens has to be put to sleep. She talks about her brothers. He talks about his ex-wife. 

Juliet is aware that partners are emotionally close - it's a necessity and a given when the person next to you holds your life in their hands, and theirs in yours.  
But sometimes she catches herself thinking about the way his deep blue eyes lit up when Weth & Smisson released a new handgun, or the way his chest hair peeks ever so invitingly over the top of his shirt. 

She thinks about waking up next to him, and how he'd smile, and they'd make breakfast together, and then spend the day doing fun things (he'd take her to a civil war re-enactment, she'd take him roller skating).

She thinks about how she can't tell him any of this, because one or both of them would get transferred. She thinks she is falling in love with Carlton but she knows she loves her job.

So Juliet decides she will keep her job and her partner, and be grateful for what she has.

Enter Shawn.

She's a whirlwind. Loud, messy, drawing all attention towards her. It's almost easy to miss her best friend Gus, until they block the busy hallway to argue over which Back to the Future movie is the best (Shawn says two, Gus says one. Jules thinks they're both wrong - three is clearly the best.) 

Shawn is a psychic detective and Juliet wonders if she should ask Shawn about her future - does she, for example, see Juliet spending her twilight years with a handsome older detective? She doesn't say anying but Shawn, who must really be psychic, asks her when she will invite Detective Lassiter to dinner. 

Juliet blushes and laughs and waves away the question.

'He's just my partner.'

'We're just friends.'

'We aren't allowed to date.'

Gus flirts with Juliet a little, but she's seen him hit on nearly every woman he sees, including suspects at a crime scene, and so she gently but firmly tells him she isn't interested. He doesn't seem to mind, and they quickly bond over their shared love of comic books and superhero movies (She's DC while he prefers Marvel, and they have many interesting conversations on the similarities and differences while Shawn complains of hunger and boredom in the background).

Lassiter hates Shawn as soon as he meets her. Juliet can see why - they are almost polar opposites. Shawn brings out a fury, a passion, in Carlton that Juliet has not seen before. They'd make a good team if Carlton would relax and Shawn stopped her relentless teasing. 

In fact, Juliet realises one day that the two of them would make a great couple. And they could technically date each other since, as a consultant, Shawn is not an official employee of the Santa Barbara Police Department. 

She is so irritated by this that she avoids Shawn for an entire week. But Shawn shows up outside her favourite cafe as she gets her morning bear claw and chatters until she gives in and admits her feelings for her partner. She also tells Shawn how she got them job at Santa Barbara in the first place.

Shawn puts her hand to her head. 'I sensed from the moment I met you two that Lassie had a crush on you.'

'You did?' says Juliet. 

'I also sensed that Lassie wears his underpants backwards for luck, but that's neither here nor there. What's really important is that you should ask him on a date.'

'But one of us will get transferred. Probably me, since he has seniority. And then I won't have him at all.'

'Jules, this is a matter of the heart! Sometimes you have to jump off a cliff. You have to unhook your shassi ... chach ... climbing thing, and you have to leap. Now I ask you Jules, are you ready to leap with me?' 

'The problem with leaping is that you end up hurt,' says Juliet, walking away.

But Shawn is persistent. Anonymous love notes start showing up in Carlton's desk, much to his annoyance. Even when he leaves a nanny-cam to spot the 's.o.b.' he can't catch the culprit. What does happen is that when he comes in to work the next day the 'hidden' camera is placed squarely on his desk, wiped clean of all video and covered in pink heart stickers. 

Hilarious though it is, after a week Juliet decides enough is enough, and goes to visit Shawn at the Psych office. Gus is there with a huge metal case she has never seen before and when she asks what it is he gives her a lecture about cold sore creams that she never, ever wants to hear repeated. Before he can start talking about stomach medicines she interrupts. 

'Is Shawn here?'

An odd look crosses his face before he shakes his head. 'She's investigating a case.'

'Something the police should know about?'

'No. Just another "is my boyfriend cheating on me" client. I hate those - last time we only made fifty bucks.'

The door opens and Shawn practically dances in, waving a fifty-dollar bill. 

'Check it out!' she sings. 'She paid up straight away! Now, who wants some jerk chicken? Oh, hey Jules.'

'Hi Shawn. Is it okay if we talk?'

Before she can reply Gus snatches the money from Shawn's hand. 'You two talk, and I'll go eat chicken. Later!' 

Juliet frowns. 'Does he not like me? He's been acting a little weird around me lately.' 

Shawn shrugs. 'We went to see the new Val Kilmer movie yesterday and it wasn't very good. He's probably still upset over that.'

'I didn't even know there was a new Val Kilmer movie.'

'It's Guatemalan. What brings you to the office? I hope it's not jerk chicken - Gus probably isn't coming back.'

They sit in the squashy armchairs, Shawn holding a cushion across her lap while Juliet leans forward, looking the other woman square in the eye. 

'Stop with the love notes to Lassiter,' she says, watching Shawn's face. Not a blink, not a twitch.

'Lassie's been getting love notes? That's so sweet! I hope he likes them.'

'Shawn, seriously, enough.'

Shawn grins. 'You think I'm the one sending him those notes? But out of the two of us, I believe you're the only one with a crush on our beloved head detective.'

'If you don't stop, I'll tell the Chief it was you. She got pretty angry at the last one.'

'Oh come on, who doesn't love pineapple?'

'Shawn!'

She sighs. 'All right, I'll stop. On one condition.'

'No. No conditions, just -'

'You have to ask out Lassiter. I'm serious, Juliet. You heart him, and he hearts you. Screw your jobs!'

Juliet rolls her eyes. 'I can't just -'

'So sneak around! The Chief doesn't have to know - I bet she'll look the other way if you're subtle enough.'

The image of Carlton cooking her dinner springs to mind, so vivid she can almost smell the steak frying. She takes a deep breath.

'If I promise to ask him on a date, will you promise to stop interfering? Even if he says no.'

'He won't -'

'Promise me, Shawn.'

Shawn grins and crosses her heart. 'I super dooper swear that if you ask Carlton Lassiter to have dinner with you then I will leave the both of you alone.' 

After work that day, Juliet waits by Lassiter's car. It isn't a huge risk - most of the day shift leave before Carlton, and the night shift don't know her well enough to wonder why she's not leaning on her own car.

Her partner comes down the stairs, loosening his tie, and Juliet's breath catches in her throat. She rehearses her speech one more time, and reminds herself to stay calm.

'O'Hara? What are you doing on my car?'

'Carlton, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?'

He is taken aback, of course. She can see him thinking things over, running various scenarios in his head. But she's prepared, as she always is, and has a rebuttal to his every objection. 

'Yes,' he says. 'I'd like that.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this fic so far! The next chapter is about the budding relationship between Jules and Lassie, with thoughts about work and potentially wasted steak. 
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.  
> And for the record, while 2 & 3 have their merits, Back to the Future 1 is the best. No question.


	2. Chapter 2

Carlton Jebediah Lassiter believes in rules. They help the chaotic cesspool of the world make sense. Everything that breaks the rules can be shouted at, ignored, or arrested. 

And then Juliet O'Hara arrives at the station, and his life turns upside down. 

He tries to keep her at arm's length at first, but she helps and smiles and charms and before he knows it she is curled up inside his previously broken heart. 

He remembers the rules, sticks by them, and treats his partner as platonically as he can.

And then Shawn Spencer shows up, erratic and lucky, throwing caution to the wind and dancing at inappropriate times. 

Carlton tries shouting at her. He tries ignoring her. He never catches her breaking the law, so he can't arrest her. (He does consider planting evidence on her, but stops himself and goes for a run instead.)

She is breaking the rules and there's nothing he can do. 

He can't help but think about her, sometimes as much as he thinks about Juliet. Once he has a dream about them together, and is so aroused he has to wash his sheets the next morning. He is extra angry at Shawn that day, but she doesn't seem to notice.

He starts getting love notes and tokens at work. He knows it's Shawn, but they're all signed 'J', and one of the notes smells like peaches.

Juliet's hair smells of peaches. 

One evening, after a blessedly free day of both love notes and Shawn, Carlton leaves the station. He sees someone leaning on his car, and fights his instinctive reaction to go for his gun. Light from a passing car briefly illuminates Juliet, who looks nervous but happy. 

'O'Hara? What are you doing on my car?'

'Carlton, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?'

Of all the things she could have said, he wasn't expecting that. He thinks about what saying yes would mean - possible reassignment, possible unemployment, possible heartbreak ...

'Yes,' he hears himself saying. 'I'd like that.'

But he doesn't know what to say next. The rules have been broken and he has no guide, no path to follow. He coughs and remembers what his therapist had said to him: 'Make a plan. List what you have to do. No more than three things at a time.'

Step one: Talk to Juliet somewhere private. 

Step two: Take her back to his house.

Step three: Defrost a second steak.

He gets in the front seat and Juliet slides easily into the passenger seat. So naturally. They've done it a hundred times before. Pretend this is just another drive Lassiter, and you'll be fine.

'I hope having dinner at my place is okay,' he says. 'We can't really ... go out in public. On a ...' He can't bring himself to say 'date'. Not about his partner.

What in god's name is he doing?

'That's okay. There's that great Chinese place around the corner from you, we could grab some takeout on the way past,' says Juliet.

He needs to think of a new step three. Nothing comes up, and they spend the rest of the drive in silence. 

Juliet offers to go in and get the food, and Lassiter waits until she is inside before letting out the breath he's been holding. He really needs to stop and think, but a part of him doesn't want to, because he knows that if he reasons it all out he will turn Juliet down. He will push her away, and with her a real chance at happiness. 

So, new plan.

Step one: Have dinner with Juliet.

Step two: Discuss how they will hide their relationship, if they still want one after tonight.

Step three: Put the steak back in the fridge so he can cook it tomorrow.

Juliet gets back into the car as he is congratulating himself on the new plan. As she arranges the bags on her lap he sees her hands shake and her lip tremble ever so slightly. Her nervousness has the interesting affect of making his confidence grow, and he pulls out of the car park fast enough that the carefully arranged tubs fall over. His partner huffs in anger, and he grins. 

He lays out the food on plates and set up the table while she 'freshens up'. When she emerges from the bathroom he's made everything look as good as he can, and even lit a candle (a grenade-shaped candle his mother made for him). 

Her face changes, and even in the dim light Carlton can see she doesn't look happy. 

'The candle's too much, isn't it? Damnit, I knew I should have left it alone.'

She shakes her head. 'No, it's fine. I ... had no idea you would be so romantic.'

'You don't look happy,' he said.

She made eye contact for the first time since she'd asked him to dinner. 'Carlton ... what are we doing? I mean, we can't ...' She looks close to tears, and Carlton moves as close to her as he dares. 

'Let's just eat. Then we can talk.'

She nods but doesn't look at him.

Dinner is uncomfortable at first, so Lassiter starts talking about their current case. Even he knows this is inappropriate on a date, but he's not entirely sure that they _are_ on a date so the rules can safely be ignored. 

It's getting easier by the minute. 

Inappropriate or not, she responds well to the topic and soon they are laughing over McNab, who turned up to work this morning in his pyjama shirt and had to go back home to change. And then the plates are empty and they are full and the awkward silence settles over them like suffocating smoke.

Step one completed, Carlton leans forward and looks at Juliet, who looks away.

'Juliet, why did you ask me to dinner?' He keeps his voice low and non-threatening, as if he's talking to a suspect who could lawyer up at any time.

'Because I have feelings for you. And Sh- and I thought it was time I told you. Even though it could mean we lose our jobs.'

He wants so badly to take her hand. Her breathing has evened out, and she's calmer now she has admitted her 'secret', but he knows it would be too soon. So he says, 'We could keep it confidential. As long as we're ... discreet at work.' He doesn't mention his last partner. He doesn't have to.

'If we act normally around each other at the station ...' she says.

'I know it won't be easy, but -' He takes the risk, and gently folds her hands in his own, 'I think we have a shot at ... something real.'

She laughs quietly and squeezes his hands. 'Screw the rules. Let's do this.'

The table between them prevents Carlton from kissing her, so he asks if she'd like to watch a movie instead. 'I'll even let you pick,' he says generously. Surprisingly she doesn't like any of his movies so they surf channels until they find some half decent black and white film. He doesn't know what it is and he doesn't care - he's far too absorbed in thinking about the woman sitting next to him, and how _easy_ it is, even though it's against the rules. He can feel the heat from her skin even through their respective clothes, and he takes her hand in his again, squeezing it gently. 

After a while Juliet turns to him, eyes sleepy and half closed, and says that she should probably head home. He still holds her hand and for a moment he considers what would happen if he didn't let go, if he asked her to stay the night. But if she wanted to stay, she'd say. So instead he leans forward and kisses her gently on the lips. They are even softer and warmer than he was hoping, and when she places both hands on his face he thinks his heart will explode with happiness.

They kiss for what feels like ages, until he finally pulls away. 'Shall I drive you home?' he asks, his voice unintentionally husky. She bites her lip.

'That's probably best,' she says. 

When he offers to walk her to her front door she rolls her eyes. He isn't being chivalrous, he just wants to prolong the moment. They kiss again, and it is even sweeter than before. He wonders if he should tell her that he has actually fantasised about making out in his car with her, but decides it's probably not appropriate now. 

Back in his own bed, he remembers the feel of her hair beneath his fingers, the smell of her skin, the feel of her lips on his. He jerks off in an effort to calm down but it doesn't work and when he does wake it's from a sleep that was broken and unfulfilling. 

At the station the first face he sees is Juliet's. She smiles so brightly than he's surprised the whole office doesn't catch fire, and he knows, right then, that they are in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lassie is an adorable Great Dane puppy and I love him and want only good things for him. 
> 
> The next chapter will be about Lassiet, hiding from the Chief, and interruptions and teasing in the form of Shawn.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	3. Chapter 3

After some slightly awkward discussion they agree to take things slowly. Juliet is relieved - the stress of hiding their relationship is harder than she thought it would be. Especially when Shawn figures it out right away. To her credit, she never brings it up at the office, although on their fourth date Juliet and Carlton find themselves showered in rose petals as they walk through her front door. Carlton growls and stomps his way into the kitchen, but Juliet is thrilled when she realises that the rose petals are yellow - her favourite colour. 

After a particularly heavy make out session in Juliet's backseat - one that brings not one but two neighbours outside to bang on the window and ask them to move it along - Juliet books a hotel room for the two of them. 

She doesn't feel nervous as they eat dinner in the restaurant downstairs, nor as they stand side by side in the elevator. She does feel a stab of regret as she realises that the new matching panty and bra set are laid out on her bed at home, but as she and Carlton embrace it all falls away. 

She wouldn't have worn them for long anyway.

Their lovemaking is equal parts romantic and hurried. She wants to take her time and she can tell that Carlton does too but before either of them realise it they are on the bed, Juliet straddling Carlton's hips and sighing as he enters her, hot and hard and oh, so sweet. 

She's glad the cold weather means she will wear a long-sleeved shirt on Monday, because Carlton's hands are clamped so firmly around her wrists she is sure he will leave bruises. But she doesn't care as she rides him harder and harder, until she can barely breathe from the excitement and his grunting grows louder and louder until he cries out and she collapses on top of him, the sweat on their skin mingling and cooling them both.

Carlton is clearly spent but Juliet isn't quite done. Her partner nudges her until she rolls onto her back. She isn't sure what he wants until she feels his hand working its way between her thighs, entering her with his fingers and rubbing her clit slowly with his thumb until her back arches and she claws at the sheets, unable to contain her ecstasy. 

When she can finally think straight again she turns her head to see Carlton dozing beside her. She strokes his hair, gently, and his eyes open. His smile is sleepy and warm, and this is the moment when Jules finally allows herself to admit that she loves him.

'We should have a shower,' she says instead. 

He nods, but it takes them a while to stand up, and on the way to the bathroom (a mere few feet away) they get a little ... distracted. 

Eventually they make it to the shower, and Juliet has to prod Carlton several times so that he doesn't fall asleep standing up. They only just manage to dry themselves before they get into bed again, this time to sleep. 

Juliet had only booked them a single night but they are having such a good time that she goes downstairs and talks the clerk into giving them the room for another night. Apart from that they spend all day in their room, in varying states of undress, kissing and caressing and fucking, stopping only when their stomachs demand to be filled. 

They check out Sunday morning, exhausted but happy. As they stop for brunch, they are confronted by Shawn and Gus. While Jules is normally happy to see these people she's come to think of as friends, right now she'd happily push them off the nearest cliff, especially when Gus leans over and steals some cucumber slices from her plate. 

'Beat it, Wonder Twins,' says Carlton. 'My partner and I are discussing a case that neither of you have been hired on.'

'Aw, Lassie, you say the sweetest things,' says Shawn. She doesn't move. 'I just thought you should know that your murder victim has a second wife in Tijuana, and she just recently purchased a spa weekend for one.'

'Also, she's been taking digitalis for a heart condition, which can cause heart attacks in people who don't need it. Say, for example, her husband.' 

Shawn glares at her friend. 'Gus! I was supposed to say that!'

Carlton stands up and looms over the both of them. 'You two jokers stay away from this case, you hear me?'

Shawn steals some of Carlton's fries before they both turn and run away. As he sits back down Juliet can see him thinking about what they had just said, and sighs. Their date is clearly over.

On Monday morning she and Carlton follow up on Shawn's psychic hunch and by the afternoon they have the murderer in custody. Shawn and Gus turn up to gloat and collect their check from the Chief. 

When no one is around Juliet quietly asks Carlton if he'd like to spend the night but he shakes his head. 'Sorry O'Hara, I'm busy,' he says.

She hates it when he calls her O'Hara.

So she goes home alone, makes a plate of nachos and is half-heartedly watching a movie when someone knocks at her door. She knows it isn't Carlton - he always announces himself like he's worried he'll get shot if he doesn't. 

When Juliet opens the door Shawn is standing there, with her usual fashion paradox of an old t-shirt and jeans paired with her fabulous, perfectly styled hair.

'Hey Jules! Are you going to invite me in, or are you worried I'm a vampire?'

'What do you want Shawn?'

Her face falls. 'Oh, you really aren't going to let me in. That hurts me Jules. Right down to this crevice on my arm.'

Juliet tries to shut the door but Shawn sticks her foot in the way. 'Alright, alright. I had a psychic vision and I thought you should know that people at the station are starting to think that you and Lassie-face are ... you know ...' She makes some odd gestures with her hands.

'They think we're naked hand puppets?'

'Yes! Well, no. The naked part, not the hand puppet part. What you two do in the Agua Verde is your business.'

'How did you -' Juliet sighs and takes a step back. 'Come in. And wipe your feet.'

When they're comfortably seated and Juliet has wrestled her dinner away from Shawn, the conversation continues.

'First of all, how did you know where Carlton and I were staying?' 

Shawn answers by raising her eyebrow and her hand to her head.

'Right. Oh, wait ... you didn't ... _see us_ , did you?'

Shawn looks equal parts disgusted and amused. 'Ew, no! I just ... the spirits tells me all kinds of things and ... I heard you were there. I didn't see anything.'

'And these spirits told you that people at the station know about me and Carlton?'

'If by "know" you mean "suspect" and by "spirits" you mean "I overheard McNab and Dobson gossiping in the men's room" then yes Jules, you're absolutely right.'

'I will ... discuss this with my partner,' says Juliet. 'Hey, did you hear about the new coroner? He's a little ... creepy.'

'Woody? I love that guy! Just yesterday he told Gus and me the best places to buy churros - it turns out, you have to buy them from the food truck on the edge of Leadbetter Beach.'

They chat about various things (Juliet talks about work and Shawn talks about food) until, with a yawn, Juliet looks at the clock. 'It's one a.m. Shawn, you should probably go.'

As Shawn is leaving she turns suddenly and pulls Juliet into a fierce hug. Jules is surprised - apart from her frequent fist bumps with Gus she's surprisingly non-physical. Juliet returns the hug, of course. 

The next day at work Carlton is in a far more cheerful mood. 'I caught the East Side Bank Robber!' he says as Juliet slides into her seat. 'Well, he turned out to be a woman and her accomplice was a midget in a bear suit but I caught them and they're being carted off to Lompoc this afternoon.' He grinned at his partner, who was not impressed.

'Carlton, that's my case. The Chief wanted me to work solo on this one.'

'I know but it's been ages since I had a case with a bank robber. Besides, I wasn't sure you'd be up for this one - I know how midgets freak you out.'

'They don't freak me out, I just dated one once and it ended badly. And how did you even know a midget was involved?'

He perches on the end of her desk and leans in close. 'I staked them out. Last night. Guessed which bank they were going to hit and waited for them and their ridiculous clown car to show up. The rest was pretty easy.'

'So not only did you steal my case from me, you lied about it? You said you were busy last night, Carlton!' Her voice is getting louder and she bites her lip in an effort to stay calm. 

'I did not lie, I told you I would be busy. I was. And I was staking them out for you - I knew you'd hit a dead end and I was getting you some more information.'

'Then why are they in our holding cells?' They're standing now, facing each other. You'd have to be standing quite close to know they're arguing, but she can see the look other officers are giving them. She takes a step back. 'You know what? Never mind. It's your case now, you're the hero, hooray for you. Now why don't you go and finish your paperwork. I'm busy.'

Lassiter looks confused, which just makes Juliet even angrier. When he does walk away she disassembles and then reassembles her pistol, which calms her down enough that she can focus on work, although she has to make a concerted effort not to peek at her partner's desk to see how he's doing. 

They don't speak until lunchtime, when Lassiter offers to buy her a turkey wrap. Recognising the peace offering for what it is, she graciously accepts, and by the afternoon they are acting normally again. 

Carlton comes by her house later that night with flowers and chocolates. His apology is even genuine, and Juliet forgives him. They chat on her couch, inching closer until Juliet gives in and swings her leg over Carlton's lap. He grabs her hips and pulls her close, and they spend the next few minutes making out and slowly but firmly grinding against each other. Juliet's breathing grows more ragged and finally she pulls back enough to ask, 'Should we move to the bedroom?'

Carlton grins and shakes his head. Then he stands up, still holding her against him, and flips her over so she is on her back, the weight of him pressing her down into the couch. They fumble with each other’s clothes until they're all on the floor, with nothing between Juliet and her partner but a thin sheen of sweat and a condom Carlton had had in his back pocket.

He's a quick learner, her partner, and he knows she likes being teased, just a little. So he prods her with his cock, parting her inner lips just a little more each time until her hips are arched upwards as far as they can go and she is nearly screaming.

'Just fuck me Carlton!' she yells and he does, chuckling in her ear. She responds by biting his shoulder, hard enough to leave teeth marks when she lets go. He growls and clutches her tighter, moving his hips even faster than before.

Juliet is gasping by now, her cunt clenching around Carlton's cock as she begs him to fuck her harder. He responds beautifully, bringing her over the edge with just a couple more strokes. He comes right after her and they both collapse onto the couch with a sigh. 

'You could stay the night,' she whispers, stroking his hair as his breath slows. 

He hesitates. 'I'd love to baby, but I can't - I have to be at work early tomorrow.'

'You're always in early,' she says, kissing his neck. 

'Mmm. Yes. But someone in the station's been deleting my messages and I intend to find out who. And if I find out that it's Shawn I will have her flensed.'

'Do you really have to bring her up _now_ , Carlton?'

'I ... sorry, Juliet.'

They stay for a while longer, in delicious but busy silence, until Carlton stands up. 

'I really do have to go,' he says, looking sad.

Juliet nods. 'Are you busy tomorrow night? It's time I cook you dinner - I was thinking about a stir fry.'

'Great! Be at my place by eight?'

She nods, they kiss, and then he is gone, leaving Juliet feeling satisfied, chilly and a little sad.

At work the next day Juliet is finishing up her report when she sees McNab make his way over to Carlton's desk. 

'Detective? The Chief would like to see you now. And,' he looks around furtively and speaks so quietly Juliet can barely hear him, 'she's in a pretty bad mood.'

Carlton stands up so quickly he knocks over his chair. With a quick sideways glance at Juliet he goes to Chief Vick's office, knocks once, and heads inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lassie gets called into the ~~principal's~~ Chief's office! Oh no!
> 
> The next chapter brings trouble to the relationship, although not everyone realises.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	4. Chapter 4

He's good at keeping his emotions in check. Sure he yells occasionally, but nervousness and fear? Those he can hide like a champion. So it is with a completely calm face that Carlton enters Chief Vick's office.

She looks at him only briefly and then goes back to the report on her desk. 'Have a seat,' she says. Her voice is calm - not a good sign.

When he's comfortably seated she gives him her full attention.

'How long have you and Detective O'Hara been dating?'

Damn.

He opens his mouth to deny everything but the Chief can tell what he's about to say and raises a thin eyebrow at him.

'About a month, Chief.'

'I see. Did you learn nothing from your former partner? Partners _cannot_ date each other. It is against all protocol and it can compromise your judgement and if you get caught doing it a second time I will have to fire you.'

Carlton feels sick. _This is what happens when you break the rules,_ whispers a tiny voice in the back of his mind.

'However,' says the Chief, 'the work you and Detective O'Hara are doing continues to be exceptional. And you're hiding it better than I thought, since office gossip has it you've been dating for two weeks now.'

He finally looks her in the eye again. 

'If I have proof that you two are dating, both of you are out of here, understood? The same thing goes if your work starts to suffer.'

Carlton nods and gets up to leave.

'And Carlton?'

'Yes Chief?'

'Congratulations.' She smiles and waves him away. He smiles back and leaves, heading immediately to the men's room so he can have a little privacy and think through what just happened.

Even there he can't get some privacy - Guster is inside, washing up. 'Hey Lassiter!' he says cheerfully. 'Heard about Pluto? That's messed up.'

Carlton doesn't want to talk, so he doesn't say that he's been an amateur astronomer since childhood and was heartbroken over the decision to remove Pluto's planet status. Instead he tells Guster to move it along and heads into the nearest stall.

Step one: Tonight at dinner, tell Juliet the Chief knows they're dating.

Step two: Make some clear, hard and fast guidelines for work behaviour.

Step three: Write them down, photocopy them, and have them laminated.

Feeling calmer, he leaves the bathroom and bumps into Shawn.

'Damn it Spencer, why are you hanging around the men's room?'

'The spirits lead me here, Lassitario. They told me that you're having some problems with our favourite Chief and I thought I'd give you the benefit of my advice.'

Carlton glares at her. 'I would rather watch Twilight.' He brushes past and heads back to his desk, eager for some real work. He spends his day calling judges, trying to get a warrant to search Franks' place of business, and finally gets one. When he gets there, though, Spencer, Guster and a handful of officers have surrounded Franks, and Shawn is giving her usual breakdown of the case, and how her 'psychic vibrations' and ridiculous hand gestures helped her to solve the murder. 

Franks admits to everything, and Shawn waves Carlton over to arrest the scumbag. 

'We make quite a team, Detective,' says Shawn, smiling at Carlton. 

He ignores her, the anger he always feels when she so casually makes a mockery of his hard work threatening to bubble over. He 'accidentally' cuffs Franks tighter than necessary, and that cheers him up a little. Until, that is, they reach the station, where Shawn has beaten him _again_ and she and Guster are reenacting their 'heroic' capture of Franks, who grumbles, 'That's not even how it happened, man.'

'Shut it,' says Carlton, with no real anger. He just feels tired now, and later on when Juliet taps him on the shoulder and says, 'We're still on for eight, right?' he can only shake his head.

'Not tonight O'Hara. I'm not in the mood. But I promise I'll be available tomorrow.' 

He turns away and so can't see the expression on her face as he heads out to his car, alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, is Lassiet in trouble? 
> 
> The next chapter will be from Shawn's perspective and contains unrequited feelings and a lot of food.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	5. Chapter 5

She hadn't meant to lie to everyone. 

Lying's always been her thing though, to everybody she meets. It doesn't matter when she does it to strangers, because she rarely sees them again. And it doesn't matter when she does it to Gus and Henry because they can always tell and call her out on it, which is endlessly amusing. 

But lying about being psychic was supposed to be harmless, a practical joke that conveniently got her out of trouble. And it worked and it was fun and she thought, 'I'll keep going. What harm can it do?'

And then she got to know Juliet, and she realised how much Juliet valued honesty over all else. She started to feel bad, but she was actually making some money now and she'd been in the same city for two months, something that hadn't happened since she was eighteen. A little more couldn't hurt. Then she'd tell the truth and skip out before people could tell her how disappointed they were.

And then Shawn noticed Jules and Lassie making eyes at each other while not realising that they both felt the same way. More romantic than she'd ever admit to anyone who wasn't Gus, she decided to give them a nudge, in the form of a conversation and a practical joke. It was worth it to see them smile and to see Lassie's face turn purple as he realised his expensive 'hidden' camera had caught nothing.

And then Shawn realised that she was jealous that Jules was dating someone. She caught herself thinking about Juliet's hair, and her quick smile, and the way she could rack a shotgun with one hand. 

Shawn is falling in love with a woman that she cannot have. And, for some reason, a woman that Gus suddenly seems to dislike.

The latter is easier to deal with, and Shawn has always been one to take the easy road. 

'Dude, what is your problem with Jules? Is it because she told you she wasn't interested in you?' she says one evening as they're on their way to get a Japadog.

Gus rolls his eyes. 'Okay, first of all, she didn't say she wasn't interested Shawn, she said she couldn't date someone who worked for the department. And two, I do like Juliet. Although I disagree with her views on the Green Spirit film.'

'So then why do you always leave the room when she comes in? And have you been eating my caramels?'

'I do not, and I haven't seen any caramels.'

'Let me see your teeth.'

Gus bares his teeth, which have caramel stuck to them. 

'Gus!'

'Sorry Shawn, I can't help it, my body craves caramel goodness.'

They bicker all the way to the stand, but it isn't until they've finished their hot dogs and are halfway through their second round of ice cream that Gus finally spills the beans.

'I have eyes, Shawn, and you clearly dig Juliet,' he says, wiping strawberry syrup from his face.

'And you're, what, jealous? You said you weren't into her anymore!'

'I'm not, but ...'

Shawn pokes Gus with her spoon, deliberately getting ice cream on his cuff. When this doesn't provoke a reaction, she knows her best friend is seriously upset. 

'Gus, talk to me. It's Shawnie. You can tell me anything.'

'You've never dated someone seriously before. I mean, have you ever got past a second date with anyone?'

Shawn stuffs her mouth full of ice cream.

'That's what I thought. But I can tell you're really into Juliet and I ... okay, I'm a little jealous.'

'I'm not dating her, dude. She's with Lassie. And if by some miracle I did get to date her, do you honestly think I'd just, what, abandon you?'

Gus shakes his head. 'I'm still hungry,' he says. 'Let's go get some churros, my treat.' 

On the way out of the store Shawn pulls Gus into a quick hug. 

'What was that for?' he asks. 

'Because you're a dirty, filthy rascal with a suede, suede head,' she says. 

Later that night Shawn texts Jules and asks her how her Thai food turned out. She doesn't get a reply, but she's pleased regardless - that means Jules is having far too good a time to check her phone, and Shawn wants Juliet (and, okay, yes, Carlton as well) to be happy, even if Shawn can't be a part of it. She goes to sleep promising herself that she will stop pining after her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Shawn.
> 
> The next chapter has girl talk over pretzels, and a kiss. Between who? You'll have to read to find out.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	6. Chapter 6

The first few weeks of their relationship were amazing. Apart from the fact that they have to hide what they have, and that Juliet can't even talk to her friends about how in love she is, it's been great. But lately Carlton seems to be taking her for granted. At work he treats her the same way he always did: respectful with a hint of arrogance and bossiness. But outside of work - the rare times he isn't 'busy' - they talk less and less about their interests and more about work. Carlton's favourite topic is Shawn and how she is forever stealing Carlton's thunder. Whenever Juliet changes the topic he nods half-heartedly for a few moments, waits for a lull and then goes right back to what he was talking about. 

It's as infuriating as it is unexpected. She knows Carlton can be romantic and caring - she's seen it, experienced it. He even let her drive his car once, a huge honour. It was great while she had it, but she knows it's all disappearing and she doesn't know how to get it back.

She's tried talking to Carlton, who looks confused every time she brings it up. 

'Nothing's wrong. Why would you think that? Is this because I left the toilet seat up?' And then they go to her place and have sex, which is wonderful, but Juliet wants companionship as well. And she isn't getting it from her boyfriend. She isn't even sure if 'boyfriend' is the right term anymore.

Exasperated and upset, she turns to the only person she thinks can help.

Shawn answers right away. 

'Hey Jules! No, I'm not busy right now, why?'

In the background Juliet can hear Shawn and Gus having an argument about whether or not Juliet is in the shower. 

'I'm not in the shower Shawn, and I need to talk. Where are you?'

'The Psych office. You can come anytime, Gus was just leaving.'

There is another muttered argument before Shawn speaks again. 'Yep, there he goes now. Later dude!'

'I'll come by after work,' says Juliet, and an hour later finds herself at the beach-front office, watching people fishing from the pier. Shawn jogs over, a pretzel in either hand.

'Sorry Jules, I was peckish. Want one?'

Juliet reaches for one but Shawn pulls it away. 'Actually, these are both for me. The cart is over there, let's walk and talk.' Shawn does all the talking though, and it isn't until they're ensconced in the office and fed that Juliet can bring herself to speak. 

'Do you think Carlton and I are right for each other?'

It wasn't what she was planning to say, and she isn't sure it's what she wanted to ask. But she waits for the other woman's response. 

'That is a good question Jules, but I think a better question is this: do _you_ think you two are right for each other?'

'I used to. I mean, I still do, it's just that it feels like he's pulling away from me. He's always busy. Do you know if he's working on something that he's just not telling me about?' 

Shawn stares at her intently. 'I don't think so, Jules. I mean, I don't sense that he is.'

'I thought he was committed - we even drew up some workplace rules so we wouldn't get caught by anybody.'

'You have _rules_? For your relationship? No wonder you're a sad monkey.'

Juliet glares. 'It's not the rules. They're necessary, we both agreed to that. He just feels distant.'

Shawn clutches the cushion on her lap a little tighter. 'Juliet ... I'm not sure what to say.'

'I don't need you to say anything, I just need someone to listen. I don't really have anyone else to talk to.'

She stays uncharacteristically quiet as Juliet pours out her frustration. By the end Shawn has moved to the couch and is resting her hand on Jules'. 

'Have you brought this up with Lassiter?'

Juliet nods, feeling tired now. 'He says nothing's wrong. He's happy with how we're doing, but I'm not. And I don't know what to do.'

Shawn inches even closer, slowly resting her hand on Juliet's shoulder. When Juliet doesn't pull away, Shawn pulls her in close for a hug.

'Thank you,' whispers Juliet, comforted. 

'You smell nice,' replies Shawn, which brings a smile to Juliet's face.

They stay like that for a while. Then Juliet speaks.

'Out with it, Shawn.'

'What?'

'You've been trying to say something for five minutes. Just say it.' She sits up and looks the other woman in the eye.

Shawn opens her mouth to speak, takes a deep breath, and leans forward to gently press her lips to Juliet's. 

Later on, Juliet will be furious that her first thought was how Shawn's lips tasted pleasantly of salt. She enjoys the kiss far more than she should, and it takes her a long time to pull away. But when she does, she puts a firm hand on Shawn's shoulder. She knows she should handle this with some delicacy, but she's tired and upset and more than a little confused and so she says, 'Don't do that again. Ever.'

Shawn looks heartbroken. 'Sorry Jules, I didn't ... I mean, I like ... I mean, I have to go.' She jumps up and runs out the door, and it isn't until Juliet hears Shawn's motorcycle roaring that she stands up as well. 

She makes her way home calmly. When her door shuts behind her, she takes a deep breath and slams her fist into the wall beside her. Then she heads into the bathroom, bandages the small cut on her knuckle, and goes to bed, making a mental note to call the landlord in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shawn doesn't take rejection well.
> 
> The next chapter contains a hunting cabin and two miserable people.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	7. Chapter 7

Carlton wakes up knowing that all is right with the world. On his usual morning run he even finds himself smiling at the regulars, and if he is moving too fast to notice their confused expressions, well, that's all to the good. 

He picks out his favourite suit (the one he was wearing when Juliet asked him on a date), puts two baseball tickets inside his pocket and heads to work, planning to surprise his partner at lunch, when they're out of the station and can therefore ignore the rules. 

She seems a little down, but she's been troubled about something lately so he chalks it up to that. At lunch she seems more upset than cheerful when he presents her with the tickets, and he asks her what is wrong.

'Nothing. Eat your chicken.'

He decides to wait. Juliet's mood may simply be a 'lady problem', and she'll feel better in a day or two. 

But that night she turns up unexpectedly at his front door.

'O'Hara!' he says, pleasantly surprised. 'Come on in! I hope you've eaten, I didn't cook - although I do have these pistachios.' He offers her the bowl but she shakes her head and continues her way inside. 

Carlton sits on the couch and pats the cushion next to him. Juliet shakes her head again and it's at that point that Carlton realises she hadn't said a word since she arrived on his doorstep: this is the same woman who once spent an hour discussing her love of cats and ranking them by breed. 

'Something wrong?' he asks, keeping his tone as light as possible. The realisation that this would end as badly as all of his previous relationships rears its ugly head again, and he pushes the thought away. Not this time, not Juliet. She is as loyal and true as she is beautiful. 

'Carlton, I have something to tell you.'

He doesn't say anything. Years of interrogations have taught him that when you want the other person to speak, you stay silent. 

'I was talking to Shawn the other day, just about ... things, and before she left she ... we ... she kissed me, but it didn't mean anything and it was just a friendly mistake and it won't happen again and I just wanted to tell you because we agreed to be honest and you know how I hate lying and I can't lie to you so that's it.'

He feels himself breathing harder, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth.

'You. Kissed. _Spencer_?'

'No! Yes. She kissed me, but -'

'The other day? You didn't tell me straight away?'

She looks frightened, but he can't seem to care. 

'Carlton, I tried but yesterday you were so focussed on the case and I didn't want to interrupt, and I couldn't at work because I didn't want to break the rules -'

'YOU BROKE THE RULES WHEN YOU KISSED SOMEONE ELSE!' He's on his feet now, his blood singing within him. He wants to lash out, to hit something, but there's only Juliet, and even in this darkest rage he will not hit a woman in anger. 

She opens her mouth to speak again but Carlton just shakes his head. 'Get out,' he says, trying to contain his anger. He keeps his eyes fixed firmly on the floor until he hears his front door shut. Then he changes into his running gear and heads outside, running and running until all he can hear is the blood pumping in his ears. 

He goes into to work the next day but only long enough to request a week off - Carlton believes in doing business in person. The Chief looks like she wants to ask buts she decides against it. 

'Be back next Monday,' she says, and waves him away. He doesn't see O'Hara at the station, and he's glad. 

A quick call to his cousin reveals the family cabin is available - Carlton can have it as long as he keeps it clean. 'But you gotta be gone in a coupla weeks time so my buddies and I can shoot bears.' Carlton doesn't bother to point out that there are no bears in Simi Valley.

He packs quickly, marvelling at how calm he is. He knows he should be furious - _was_ furious less than twelve hours ago, but this distant, serene feeling lasts all the way to Simi Valley. It isn't until he's halfway through lighting the fire that an image of O'Hara and Spencer making out on her couch suddenly comes to mind, and in his distraction he burns his hand.

He recalls Spencer at the station, how she would always rush to chat to Juliet, how she would defend her against Chief Vick, and he guesses but doesn't know that Shawn has dropped more than a few case-solving clues in Juliet's lap. 

He thinks about how Juliet would smile whenever Shawn talked to her, how she would sometimes play with her hair while the two women were talking.

He wonders if Juliet has cheated on him before. Or since.

There is a well-stocked liquor cabinet beside a badly-stocked bookshelf and Carlton picks the largest bottle of bourbon he can find. The top comes off quite easily and Carlton starts sipping from the bottle, telling himself he'll replace it before Cousin Billy-Joe gets here. 

Carlton isn't sure what time he went to sleep but when he wakes up the sun is high in the sky and he is on the floor, covered in a mysterious sticky substance and hugging the empty bottle. The bourbon was top shelf stuff so his hangover is only mild but he makes himself a fatty breakfast and pops a couple of painkillers before he goes hunting. 

The only thing he sees all day are a herd of deer but they spook before he can get off a shot and so he returns to the cabin alone. He feels oddly cheerful until he remembers exactly why he is alone, and then he reaches for a bottle of scotch.

He'd planned on taking Juliet here for their six-month anniversary. For someone who took such good care of herself she was surprisingly outdoorsy, going hiking and camping at every opportunity. 

He wanted them to eat food they'd hunted together.

He wanted things to make sense. To be organised. He wanted rules.

He wanted Juliet.

It takes a couple more days but he finally manages to kill a deer. It's young, and when he's cleaned and cooked it the flesh is so tender it nearly brings tears to his eyes. He cures what he cannot cook so none of it goes to waste. 

Four bottles of alcohol have been drunk, but Carlton is feeling calmer now, and he stops himself from drinking until he blacks out. Instead he writes down what he's drunk and goes into town to replace them. He doesn't drink at all that night, although it's a close thing.

Sunday arrives too quickly, and with a sense of regret Carlton tidies up, locks the door and drives home. He can tell when he's back in cell phone range because it starts buzzing with texts and missed calls. He ignores all of them until he gets inside. They're all from Juliet, apart from one from his mother, asking if he will be coming over for Thanksgiving. He tells her he can't and then deletes all of Juliet's text messages. He doesn't want to know what she has to say.

Instead he drives to her house (after a quick shower and change of clothes) and knocks on the door. He's nervous about what will happen next, but his speech is fixed in his mind and when Juliet opens the door looking confused and happy his resolve solidifies. He has to do this.

She invites him in and sits on the couch, but he won't join her.

'Where have you -' says Juliet, but he raises a hand to stop her.

'We can't do this anymore,' he says. 'And not just because of you and Shawn. I broke the rules, and I can't be that man. I like you, and I respect you, but I can't be your ... I want to go back to being your partner. Your work partner.'

Tears spring to her eyes and Carlton realises he's never seen her cry, not once. But she's crying now and it takes everything he has not to run to her. 

'I'm sorry,' he says instead, and turns away. 

It's better this way, he tells himself.

It won't hurt so much tomorrow.

It's ... better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not crying, I just have something in my eye. Also, I don't know if there are bears in Simi Valley. Or hunting lodges. I just like the name.
> 
> The next chapter is short but it contains more girl talk and many apologies. 
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	8. Chapter 8

She's used to presenting a calm, polite face. It's one thing she learnt from her father - not because he taught it to her, but because she didn't want him to know how upset he made her. 

She knows the police officers know (or at least suspect) that she and Carlton are no longer dating. They are, after all, trained to sense deception. Most of the men avoid her, and the women give her pats on the shoulder and whispered platitudes that don't comfort at all. But her only real friends at the station are Carlton and Chief Vick, and neither would make a great sounding board.

So after a week of pretending during work and crying in her off hours she calls Shawn, who shows up so quickly Juliet half-wonders if Shawn was right outside her building.

Shawn, bless her, brought food - fried quatro quesos dos fritos - which did _not_ travel well but still taste delicious. They stick to small talk as they eat but before she can clear everything away she finds herself pouring out everything to Shawn. She gets a distinct feeling of déjà vu until she realises that this is exactly how the kiss happened. She shuffles backwards on the couch until she is as far away from Shawn as possible, then tries to pretend that she's not nervous at all.

Shawn takes a deep breath before she responds. 'Listen, Jules, I'm sorry you're hurting. And I ... I'm sorry for ... well, I'm not sorry ... I mean, I _am_ sorry because ...it's just that ... I didn't mean to ... I'm sorry.'

The awkward silence stretches for far longer than it should. Then Shawn says, 'So, uh, have you spoken to Lassiter much?'

Juliet shakes her head. 'Not any more than I have to. Nothing other than work things. It's ... hard, being around him. And he doesn't even seem sad.'

Amazingly, Shawn laughs, but stops when she sees the expression on Juliet's face. She leans forward and reaches out to touch Juliet's hand, and then seems to think better of it, pulling back again. 'Jules, Lassie is _dying_. Haven't you seen that?'

'I've kind of been avoiding him and ... he hasn't been acting any differently, how can you tell? Don't tell me you're getting psychic messages about my partner.'

Shawn laughs again. 'No Jules, I have eyes. He puts on an act whenever he sees you looking at him. The same way you do with him.'

Juliet stares out the window, thinking about what her friend just said. She changes the subject to the weather or something equally meaningless, and sure enough Shawn leaves not long after.

While filling out forms the next morning Juliet finds herself peering at Carlton via the reflection on her computer screen. Shawn was right - when he talks to people or glances at Juliet (twenty times in five minutes) he looks as grumpy as usual, but on the rare occasions when he is alone he looks as miserable as she feels and that, oddly, is enough to make her feel a little better. 

When he takes a bathroom break she heads to his desks and steals the files from the bottom of his inbox. It means her work is done a little later than she said, but soon she has both of their reports finished, and as he opens his mouth to shout that they are missing she heads to his side and places them lightly in front of him.

'All done, Carlton,' she says. She still can't quite bring herself to look him in the eye, but she knows him well enough that she can guess his exact expression. 

'Thanks, partner,' is all he says, and then he brings her a turkey wrap for lunch, placing it on the desk with exaggerated care. 

Juliet knows they won't be right, not for a while, but now she's sure they can get back to the way things were, and she's so relieved that she sighs.

'Is that not okay?' asks Carlton. 'I thought you liked turkey.'

'I do. Thanks partner.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If they can't be lovers, at least they can be friends, right? 
> 
> The next chapter has unrequited feelings and a man with insanely dark eyelashes. 
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	9. Chapter 9

'Shawn, who is that?'

She looks up from her video game into Gus's irritated face, framed by his sweet round head.

'She is our new receptionist. Dagmar. The agency sent her over.'

'We can't afford a secretary Shawn!'

'She's not a secretary, she's a model, and if you're sweet to her she'll show you how to do your nails. She already did mine, look!' She proudly waves her hand in front of Gus' face. His irritated face is replaced by his confused one.

'You hate having your nails done. What's wrong with you?'

Shawn backs away and goes back to her video game. 'Nothing. I just thought I'd do her a favour by letting her practice on me. She's also single Gus, I could put in a good word for -'

'No. No. A player doesn't need help Shawn. And besides, you know I'm dating Kelly.'

'The masseuse?'

'No, _that_ Kelly was a man. My Kelly is a chef.'

Recognition dawns. 'Wait, that chick you met at Hot Dog on a Stick?'

'Yes Shawn. Her name is Kelly Green and she's only working there to pay her way through culinary school. And she's nice and she's beautiful and why am I justifying myself to you?'

Shawn says nothing.

'Is this because of Juliet? You still haven't asked her out, have you?'

'How did you -'

'Dude, you have had the hots for her since we started this thing. A player always knows.'

'First of all, you are not a player. Secondly, I can't ask out Jules because she just broke up with her boyfriend. And C, I can't even tell if she likes me back, and I can _always_ tell.'

Surprisingly, Gus doesn't argue. 'We need a case,' he says. 'But not on Saturday - Kelly and I are going to Mario's.'

'Mario's? Why would you take anyone there?' 

'Come on son.' 

Shawn's retort dies away as a man pushes past Dagmar and grabs Gus by the shirtfront. 

'You have to help me! I'm being haunted!' he says.

***

The case takes a few days, even with Gus helping more than Shawn thought. When he sticks around Saturday evening for dinner, Shawn can't help but ask. 

'Kelly broke up with you, didn't she?'

'I don't know what went wrong! One minute we're talking about going away for the weekend, and the next she tells me she "needs space".' 

'I still have Dagmar's number. She told me you have the neatest cuticles she's ever seen.'

'She doesn't speak any English Shawn.'

'She said it with her eyes.'

'Whatever. I need to finish my presentation on Propraxapril.' He leaves and Shawn is left wondering what to do. Inevitably her thoughts turn to Juliet, and what she's doing tonight. But that just makes her sad, so she forces herself to think about Lassie instead. He hasn't said a word to her since Shawn and Jules kissed, and she knows if she tries to apologise he may well shoot her. 

So she turns to what she does best - working while no one is actually looking. She knows Lassiter has three cases he has never been able to solve, and it takes three days of working hard between snack breaks with Gus until she has enough evidence to solve two of the cases. The problem now is how to get said evidence to Lassie without him throwing her through a window.

The answer turns out to be simple - a quick call to Juliet to give her the necessary details sets Lassiter on the right track, and when Shawn and Gus saunter into the station a few days later she sees not one but five individual officers patting the head detective on the back.

'Lassie! Did you solve the case of the laser-wielding pirate? Let me guess, it was Colonel Mustard in the bathroom.'

'Ballroom, Shawn.'

'I've heard it both ways.'

Lassie actually smiles at them. 'You two are looking at the man who solved both the Morelli murder _and_ the bank robbery of aught seven.'

Shawn grins at him. 'Well done, Detective!'

He looks confused. 'What, no sarcasm? No witty remarks? No references to obscure eighties films?'

'Nope, not today. It's back on tomorrow, though, starting jokes about your hair and going aaaall the way down to your shoes.'

Lassie rolls his eyes and leaves, but not before Shawn sees a tiny smile on his face. He's forgiven her, even if he doesn't want to show it.

Juliet walks out of the chief's office, smiles at Shawn and Gus, and heads towards her partner.

'No flirting with Juliet, Shawn, we're hear to see the Chief.'

'Got it. No flirting. Just a quick hello.' She pulls away from Gus before he can object and taps Jules on the shoulder. 

'So Jules, how is it working with such a fine Head Detective?'

Her old smile is back, and she's back to being relaxed around Shawn. 'Great.' She looks around and her voice drops to a whisper. 'He doesn't suspect a thing, and he's even gotten a new suspect on the robbery at the Santa Barbara Bowl!'

Shawn is faintly annoyed that Lassiter was able to make headway in a case that stumped even her, but she hides it well.

'And you two are ... good?'

Juliet nods. 'I mean, it's still a little awkward sometimes, but us being partners ... it just makes sense. And we don't have to sneak around any more, which is such a relief.'

'Good. That's ... good.'

'Yeah. I have to go, they're holding a press conference for Carlton in a few minutes and he wants me there with him.'

Shawn waves her away and waits a minutes before she turns to Gus, who she knows is standing close enough that he can hear what's been said while pretending that he hasn't heard a thing.

'The Chief wants us in her office now,' is all he says, and Shawn can only nod. 

***

She spends hours thinking about how she wants to confess her feelings to Jules. She plays out every conceivable scenario, prepares herself for every possible answer. 

She thinks back over every meeting, every smile, the times she laughed at Shawn's jokes and the times she just looked disappointed. 

And still, still she can't be sure if Juliet feels the same way. And she can't bring herself to say anything.

So she watches her favourite movies, eats her favourite snacks, makes a few too many cocktails, and waits to see if an opportunity will present itself.

***

The police scanner app is a great invention, and has paid for itself many times over. (Not that Shawn actually paid for it. Gus' credit card is also a great invention.) 

A woman has been found dead at a park, and Shawn spots an aerosol can by her picnic blanket. She recalls a similar death from about a week ago.

Juliet and Lassiter walk by, and Shawn lifts her finger to her head, smirking. This is too easy. 

'This wasn't an accident, it was a murder.'

Those were the words that should have come out of Shawn's mouth. But they didn't. A man with ludicrously dark eyelashes steps between Shawn and the body, and she suddenly doesn't know what to do. He keeps talking, describing everything Shawn has seen and the link between this woman's death and one from last week.

Beside her, she can feel Gus snorting with laughter.

'What's so funny?' she snaps.

'He's you! But five seconds faster.'

Shawn stalks away, looking for another clue, something he hasn't already mentioned. But there is nothing, and so Shawn quietly moves closer to Juliet, ready to ask her what her weekend plans are. She's so focussed on Jules that she doesn't see the man until it's too late.

'Sure,' says Jules. 'I love Thai food.'

They turn and see Shawn, who is doing her best to keep her face calm. 

'Hi Shawn,' says Juliet. 'I don't know if you were introduced, but this is Declan Rand. He's a profiler from Los Angeles and he'll be helping us on this case.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unrequited love is shitty. But it makes for a great story.
> 
> The next chapter has a drunken conversation and a sober one.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	10. Chapter 10

Carlton has always been good at keeping his emotions in check. He believes it's one of his best traits, and it's certainly helped him in his police work. But he understands the difference between holding an emotion at arm's length and not feeling it at all, and so it is with great relief when he walks into work, sees Juliet, and feels only respect and friendly affection for her. (All right, yes, there are lingering romantic feelings. But he can safely put them away for now.)

She is more cheerful than usual today, and he struggles against his recent instinct to ignore her and instead asks about her date on Saturday. She launches into a full description of what they ate, what they wore, what he said and how Juliet felt about it, and exactly how nice his house is. 

'How do you know what his house is like?'

Juliet rolls her eyes. 'I just went over for coffee, Carlton. Declan was a perfect gentleman.'

She asks him if he's been dating anyone. He says no. Then he turns the conversation to their case, and everything is good. 

That night Carlton finds himself in Tom Blair's Pub. He wants a quiet whiskey to celebrate a milestone - five years since he made Head Detective. He's been looking forward to this drink for a while, and so he's very annoyed when the drunken young woman stumbling into him turns out to be Shawn Spencer.

'Lassie-face!' she slurs. 'Aaaayyy! It's Head Dective! Five ... five y'rs now, m'I right?' She laughs so hard she almost falls over.

He drags her to a bench outside and sits her down. 'Stay here.'

He tries to walk inside but Shawn starts to moan. 'Aww, don' leave. Stay and talk to me 'bout ... things. Not Jules, musn' talk 'bout Jules.'

Carlton goes to the bar, orders water and a large coffee, and hands both to Shawn. 

'Drink them both,' he says, pressing them into her hands. She complains, but does as she's told and soon enough she's sobered up enough to sit upright, which is good enough for Carlton.

'I cannot believe I'm saying this,' says Carlton, taking another sip of his whiskey, 'but what's wrong?'

Shawn shakes her head. 'Nothing. Nothingnothingnothing. Unless you count Jules dating someone else, _again,_ and it's not even someone cool with a sexy sternum bush like you so I can't be happy for her and Gus is away at some work camp and he has to hold the sharing stick and has anyone ever told you that your eyes are blue, Detective?' She laughs and sways a little, and before Carlton can react she's on her back, her legs jammed awkwardly against his, and sighing sadly. 

'Do you miss her?' she says, so quietly Carlton can barely hear her. 

'No.' His glass is empty, but he can't leave Shawn to go and get another one. Wishing he'd made her sit inside, he shuffles back until he's comfortable again.

'How do you do it, Detective? I can't ... it's hard. And everything in my life is easy. Everything. 'Cept Jules.'

Confessing his feelings doesn't come easily, especially to people who make it their business to antagonise him. But Shawn is staring at the sky and looking sadder than he thought he'd ever see and he finds himself saying, 'I get to see her every day. And she and I work well together, and maybe that's all we've got but it works for the both of us. But I wish ...'

Shawn is sitting up now, and she gently rests her hand on Carlton's.

'What do you wish?'

He grips his glass hard enough that he's afraid he might break it. 'I wish I'd told her I loved her. Before it was too late.'

They sigh in unison, which makes Shawn smile. 'I should go home,' she says. 'They're playing the Back to the Future trilogy and it starts in fifteen minutes.'

She stands, and he stands too, leaving his glass on the seat. 'I'll drive you home.'

***

Stakeouts aren't nearly as much fun as they should be. The adrenalin is minimal and the chances of him needing to pull out his gun are zero. 

But Chief Vick told him to go and even though he'd give up a limb if it meant he could be Chief he respects her decisions. Besides, they're a block away from his favourite coffee place, and Jules finally comes back with their respective orders, as well as something that definitely doesn't smell like coffee.

'Sandwiches?' he says, his eyes never leaving the binoculars.

'I'm hungry. And you need to keep your blood sugar up.'

'My blood sugar is fine.' He sniffs again. 'Is that chicken?'

'Uh-huh.'

'Great.' He hands her the binoculars, ignoring her huff of protest as he unwraps his meal. 'How was your weekend?' he asks around his mouthful.

She smiles hugely. 'It was really, really great! Declan and I went antiquing, and he showed me how to make pottery. Did you know he has a whole room in his house just for pottery making? A kiln and everything.'

'Good. And, um ... how's Shawn? Seen her lately?' He was attempting to be casual but somehow she sees right through him. 

'Carlton, why are you asking me about Shawn?'

'I saw her this weekend and, you know, she just happened to mention that she ...' He's not sure how to finish the sentence, and is very much regretting bringing it up in the first place. 

In the passenger seat Juliet sighs heavily. 'Carlton, I am dating Declan. He's a very nice man, a good man. And I like Shawn but she's not exactly ... girlfriend material. Okay?' And before he can answer she presses the binoculars to his face. 

'Besides,' she says, unwrapping her sandwich, 'He and I are going away next week. He has a place on the Amalfi Coast.'

'I hope you have a good time,' says Carlton, and he means it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lassie and Shawn bonding over shared pain. And alcohol. Awww.
> 
> The next chapter has Juliet musing on her new relationship, and a discussion about butterflies. 
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	11. Chapter 11

The sea air isn't anything new - she lives in Santa Barbara, after all - but here it's somehow sweeter. Although it's entirely possible she's being influenced by the good-looking man bringing her a drink.

He's smiling. Juliet doesn't think she's even seen him without a smile. He certainly doesn't scowl and glare like Carlton, or squint into the middle distance like Shawn. 

The drink is fruity and refreshing and as she sips it she turns towards the sea. She can't quite pull her eyes away, even when Declan gently wraps his fingers around hers.

'What are you thinking about?' he whispers.

'Dolphins.'

Carlton would roll his eyes, and Shawn would tell her all sorts of 'facts', like how they're actually a close relative of the banana and how they can speak, but only in Swahili.

Declan just laughs and pulls her into a hug. 'I didn't know you liked dolphins. I thought you were more of a cat person.'

'I like dolphins too. And sea lions. Not butterflies, though.'

'You don't like butterflies?'

'No. They're too much like moths. And they're not really former caterpillars - they're bacteria that lived inside the caterpillar and then eat it from the inside out.'

'I had no idea this trip would be so fascinating,' he says. His phone rings and he pulls away slowly. 'I'm sorry babe, I have to get this. It's my pastry chef, he wants a raise. Wait here for me?' She nods and he walks away.

She's never been this confused about a guy before. Declan is amazing - smart and funny and incredibly attractive. The fact that he's rich certainly doesn't hurt. But she's spent nearly every moment thinking about either Shawn or Carlton. Missing them, even. 

She had to put her phone in the very bottom of her suitcase to stop herself from texting them. Carlton never responds, of course, but texting Shawn would open herself to a flurry of emoticons and sarcastic remarks about her boyfriend's impossibly thick eyelashes. She's right, they _are_ impossibly thick (Juliet asked, and he doesn't use any product on them) but then she'll just start thinking about Shawn's irreverent sense of humour and the way that she and Gus can carry on a single joke for hours. 

Footsteps behind her let her know that Declan is returning, and she makes herself smile. She is happy here.

Just not as happy as she could be. 

***

It's been a week now and Juliet is finding it funny that she couldn’t get her mind off of Shawn and Carlton. She and Declan had spent all of yesterday in bed, and he'd even massaged her himself - he'd taken a course before they came, of course. 

'Is there anything you can't do?' she'd asked, and his smile had twisted a little, before going back to normal.

'Not a thing,' he says, grinning.

This morning when she wakes Declan is gone, and she hears the shower being turned off. Declan emerges, towelling his hair dry and looking a little upset.

'What's wrong?' she asks.

He just sighs and sits on the edge of the bed, back turned to her.

'Declan, really, is everything okay?'

He turns his head, not enough for her to see his expression.

'Juliet, I have to confess something to you.'

She waits for him to speak, blinking sleep from her eyes. 

'I haven't been entirely honest with you. I'm not actually a criminal profiler. I fudged my credentials. I did go to Harvard, but I did an Arts degree.'

Juliet can barely hear the end of his sentence. Blood rushes through her ears and her hands are clenched so tightly she thinks she may have torn the sheet. 

'You lied to me? To the Chief? That is a _federal_ offence!'

'Well, no, since there aren't really any qualifications needed to be a criminal profiler, and I am good at what -'

'Get out,' she says. He hesitates, and she feels another rush of fury. 'Get OUT!'

He backs into the next room and Juliet spends the next few minutes getting her breathing under control. It doesn't help that she keeps picturing former boyfriends, almost all of whom had lied to her, in one form or another. Even Carlton had lied to her. 

When she feels calm enough she gets dressed, packs, and walks straight past Declan, who is still only wearing a towel. 

'Babe, please, let me -'

'I'm going home,' she says, not even looking at him. 'Don't bother calling.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jules! The next chapter will be longer, I promise. It will contain pinball, Wii, and Shawn spending the night with a certain head detective.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	12. Chapter 12

The best thing about Tom Blair's pub is that Happy 'Hour' lasts for three and Shawn always gets her first drink free (she once proved the bartender couldn't have robbed a local hardware shop because he was at a showing of _Menopause: The Musical_ ). 

The second best thing is that it is always crawling with eligible men and women susceptible to Shawn's charm and her thick, wavy mane. 

But the third best thing, tonight, is that it contains one Head Detective Carlton Lassiter, studying the room as if he's looking for someone. Shawn wonders if he is looking for her.

She goes and joins him anyway. He looks lonely, poor thing, and Shawn knows just how to cheer him up.

'Detective Sternbush! Have a beer.' She hands him her free one and settles on the stool next to him. He doesn't reply but he does take a sip.

'Heard you wrapped up the Torchwick case,' he says, and Shawn blinks in surprise.

'Lassie, is that a compliment? Did it hurt?'

He grunts, and Shawn decides to let him have this one. 'McNab just needed a little psychic push in the right direction.'

'Spencer, do you have to pretend you're psychic everywhere?'

'It's not pretend, Lassie, I -'

'Carlton.'

'What?'

'Carlton. Not Lassie.'

If she grins any wider her head might just split. And to top it off Carlton is actually _blushing_.

'Carlton, did you know there's a gun show over at Leadbetter Beach tomorrow?'

He rolls his eyes. 'Of course I know, I helped set it up.'

They fall into easy chatter, with Shawn only having to steer the conversation away from work once. Happy hour continues and before she knows it it's one in the morning and she can't quite manage to stand on her own. 

'Sleepy,' mumbles Carlton, looking as out of it as Shawn feels. 

'Cab,' she replies, and he nods. They stumble outside, leaning on each other for support, and somehow manage to crawl into the backseat, although Carlton hits his head on the door of the cab not once but three times. 

The taxi pulls up outside of Shawn's apartment and she drags her friend with her, determined that he get inside soon - he looks like he's about to puke. 

He doesn't, but Shawn deposits him on the couch with a pitcher of water and a bucket, just in case. She sits down next to him and flips on the tv, too buzzed for sleep.

Halfway through that show that comes on after F.R.I.E.N.D.S Shawn is feeling better, especially now that the room is staying in one place. She turns to Lassie, who is staring around him in confusion.

'This is a laundromat,' he says. 

'Fluff 'n fold.'

'Why do you live in a laundromat?'

'I live in a _former_ fluff 'n fold because it's cheap. Mimi went back to Turkmenistan and said I can stay here until she sells the place.'

'That doesn't explain the - Oh. Oh my. Spencer, does that pinball machine say "Heartbreak Ridge"?' 

'Yes it does. I got it for solving a haunting.' 

'Someone was actually being haunted?' asked Carlton, getting up - somewhat unsteadily - to inspect the game.

'No, it was those damn meddling neighbour kids. But I sorted them out. And by "sorted them out" I mean I went and snitched to their parents.'

'I've wanted one of these for years!' he said, stroking the glass fondly.

'Play it. Gus refuses to, he says the machine gave him carpal tunnel, but he's just grumps because I beat him every time.'

' _I_ can beat you at this game, Spencer,' he says, a competitive glint in his eye that is oddly attractive. 

'Shawn,' she says, 'and it's on, Carlton.'

***

Shawn wakes up fully dressed, a little seedy, and with an arm slung over Carlton's hip. 

They're fully dressed, so she assumes nothing ... _happened_ between them last night. But she can't remember much - just blurry images of Tom Blair's, a taxi, and ... Lassiter playing pinball?

The man beside her mumbles something and rolls over, pulling Shawn into an embrace. She wonders if she should wake him up. But he's warm and he smells good beneath the layer of alcohol that clings to his skin. 

As always, hunger wins out over everything else and so she gently moves backwards, trying to get off the bed without waking Lassie up. She's almost made it when his hand reaches out and encircles her wrist, tugging her back.

'Come back to bed, baby,' he says, his voice pitched low. 

'No can do Lassie, it's breakfast time.'

His eyes snap open. 'Shawn?'

Her heart sinks. He probably thought he was holding Juliet.

'What am I ... did we ... were we playing pinball?'

'Yep. And it was a tie, I might add, but I maintain that you tilted during the last round.'

He groans and sits up. 'And then we ... went to bed?'

Shawn claps her hands with glee. 'Lassie, you and I have officially slept together!' 

He stares at her for a full minute, shakes his head, and stands up. 'Do you have any eggs?'

'In the fridge.' Lassiter leaves, and Shawn takes the opportunity for a quick shower. Dressed in an old shirt and shorts she pads into the kitchen, where Lassiter is cooking. 

'I hope you like omelettes,' he says, not turning his head.

'Detective Lassie-face. Are you actually making me breakfast?' She gets out plates and cutlery as she speaks, sneaking peeks at his face. He doesn't smile, but she catches a glint of humour in his eye.

'My mother taught me to be a gentleman. And I happen to be an excellent cook.'

'I'm intrigued,' says Shawn, ignoring the phone buzzing in her pocket. She already knows it's Gus, calling to ask why she isn't at Jamba Juice for the half-price bonanza. She'll make it up to him later.

Lassiter divides the food and they eat in companionable silence. Shawn usually likes to talk while she eats but she finds herself enjoying the quiet.

The meal is over far too quickly and Shawn refuses Lassiter's offer to wash up. She hopes he'll stay and dry up, but he leaves the kitchen and comes back with his shoes on. 

'I have to go, but ... thanks for last night. It was a lot of fun.' He suddenly grins. 'And next time, I'll definitely beat you at pinball.'

And then he is gone. Shawn finishes the dishes in silence until someone knocks on the door, hard. Her heart leaps, thinking that he must have come back. But it's Gus, looking annoyed.

'Dude, where were you?' he says, pushing past Shawn and heading for the kitchen. 'Is that a frying pan? You can't cook.'

Shawn shrugs and looks away. 'I wanted an omelette.'

‘Okay, what is going on with you? You have been acting weird all week. Did you watch Donnie Darko again?' 

'What? No. Come on buddy, let's go have a burrito, I'm starving.'

***

They spend the day together, playing mini golf and bickering over the final score. Eventually they agree to call it a draw and go their separate ways. 

At home Shawn is dozing on the couch when someone knocks on her door. She isn't entirely surprised to see it's Carlton, but she is confused by the box he's holding.

'Hey Shawn!' says Carlton, looking even more awkward than usual. 'I was uh, just in the neighbourhood. We busted up a drug den not too far away and this turned up in the sweep and I was wondering if, you know, you're not too busy, you'd like a game or two?'

Shawn peers inside the box. There is a Wii inside, complete with controllers. 

'There aren't any drug dens in my neighbourhood, Carlton. I would have noti- I mean, the spirits would have informed me.'

'Well, it was nearby. Come on!' He pushes past and Shawn follows him, a smirk playing on her lips. 

It takes them half an hour to set it up (neither are good with electronics, and neither will admit it), but soon enough they are punching thin air, trying to knock the other's Mii unconscious. Carlton wins handily at Wii Boxing, while Shawn beats his embarrassingly low score in Bowling. They stop when Shawn's stomach begins to growl.

'I'm gonna order a pizza. You want one too?' she says.

Carlton looks at the clock and shakes his head. 'No. I'd better get this back to the station, it's technically evidence. This was fun though, thanks.'

Shawn grins back and watches as he packs up. As he leaves, she can't help herself from calling out, 'We should do this again!' The door shuts before he can reply, but she sees him nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't remember if Shawn owns a pinball machine or not, but I do remember one in the Psych office, and it seems like the sort of thing she'd have.
> 
> The next chapter has semi-secret meetings and a sad, sad Shawn.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	13. Chapter 13

He had no idea how much fun Shawn could be once she stopped being an ass. She still pokes fun at him, but he secretly enjoys their mild sniping, especially now that she's toned it down. Guster had too, of course, but his jokes were never very funny or clever, so Carlton had barely even noticed. 

They've been meeting a few times a week, just the two of them. Carlton wonders if Gus knows, and if not, why Shawn is keeping it a secret. He did once ask and she mumbled something about 'tap lessons' and then refused to elaborate, choosing instead to steal his phone and take a selfie. 

One night they went to watch a movie together, with Shawn cracking jokes about how he 'owed her a proper date after they'd slept together', and Carlton growling half-heartedly at her and reminding himself that this was not a date. Just two friends having fun. Not a date. 

Afterwards he'd walked her home, and just as he was mentally congratulating himself for not bringing up work once she'd leaned forward and planted a soft, tentative kiss on his lips. Startled and confused from convincing himself that there was no romance between them, he'd pushed her away. 

She'd stepped back, apologised, and then gone inside before Carlton could react. He cursed himself all the way home, and texted her the next morning that he wanted to see her. 

That had been three days ago, and she'd never responded, not even when he knocked at her front door. He'd even gone so far as texting Guster, but all he got back was a message saying that 'Burton is away from his office, and will contact you shortly.'

So now Carlton is at his desk, waiting for her to walk in. He knows they've been summoned by the Chief, and they're twenty minutes late, like always. When they enter the station he casually hides behind a pillar, ignoring Dobson's, 'Er, Detective? Why are you hiding?' 

He is even more casual as he waits outside the Chief's office, shushing Juliet when she tells him that he is being creepy. Finally Shawn and Gus leave, managing to hit Carlton with the open door on their way out. He shakes his head, waits for his vision to clear and then rushes forward to block their path, hoping against hope that he still looks casual.

'Hey, Shawn,' he says, leaning against the pillar he'd previously used to hide behind, 'could we talk for a moment? I have some things I need to discuss with you. About a case, obviously.'

'Since when do you call her Shawn?' says Guster. 

Shawn is uncharacteristically silent. She shakes her head and she and her friend leave the station.

***

Carlton doesn't usually drink, but tonight he's two shots into a bottle of whiskey when someone rings his doorbell. He instinctively checks the two guns nearest him before he opens it.

Shawn stands there, looking tired and sad. 'You wanted to speak to me, Detective?' 

He stands back to let her in, and she settles on the couch, pulling a cushion across her lap. Carlton sits as close to her as he dares, offering her a drink that she waves away. 

'I wanted to apologise for the other night. I hurt you, and I'm sorry.' 

'I'm not good at talking about my feelings,' says Shawn. 'But I like you. I like the way we fit, even though we shouldn't. Like salt and caramel.'

'Shawn, when you kissed me - the only thing I can compare it to is the rush of jubilation I felt when I heard Chuck Norris speak at an NRA convention in Aberdeen. I was eleven.' 

She doesn't move, so Carlton shifts closer until his arm is resting against hers. Her heads dips and rests on his shoulder, and when she turns so her hazel eyes meet his he can no longer help himself, and he leans in for a deep, slow kiss. 

She's a little hesitant, but when she sighs softly Carlton feels his cock stirring. He rests his hands on her shoulders, preparing to press her back against the arm of the couch, but instead Shawn wriggles out of his grasp and plants herself firmly on his lap, straddling him and kissing him hard. His hands go to her hips, pulling her even closer, moaning every time her hips grind against his. 

He slips his shirt off and she does the same, and Carlton's lips travel over skin he's only dreamed of. In reality it's softer and smoother and in his dreams she never trembled like this, nor gasped aloud as he unhooks her bra and gently licks her breasts. 

Shawn's mouth travels to his neck, and she alternates between kissing, biting and sucking. His breath catches in his throat every time he feels her teeth, and so she bites harder every time, her hips moving faster now as she makes soft, kittenish noises against his throat. 

He can take no more, lifting her and holding her to him as he stumbles to the bedroom, bouncing off walls in his excitement. He's grateful when he presses her down onto the mattress, both at the prospect of their imminent lovemaking and the fact that she's heavier than he thought. 

Both of them are struggling to remove their remaining clothing when Shawn starts to laugh. 

'What?'

'Nothing,' she says as Carlton yanks off her jeans. 'I just never thought I'd wish that I'd worn a skirt.'

He laughs too, and while he's distracted Shawn flips him onto his back and straddles him again. 

'You like being on top, don't you?' he says.

'I hope that's not a problem, Detective Lassiter,' she purrs, taking his cock between her strong, slightly calloused hands. He wants to respond but he can only concentrate on her fingers, and the skilful way she pleasures him, thumbing the sensitive head as he groans and grips the sheets in an effort not to come right there in her hands. 

It's hard, but he manages to prise her hands away. 'Drawer,' he says, panting with effort. 

She pulls out a box of condoms and without any coaxing slides it down his aching cock, and he desperately lists capital cities in his head until he feels her move, her hands replaced by the velvet softness of her pussy. She starts slowly, orienting herself, then starts writhing atop him in earnest.

Carlton wants to see her face, flushed with heat and pleasure, but he's afraid that doing so will send him over the edge and he so badly wants this to last, so he tries to breathe regularly. She doesn't make it easy though, suddenly leaning forward and kissing the very tip of his nose. He cries out and feels the orgasm ripping through him, arching his back until he's afraid he will throw Shawn off. But she clings to him, crying out as well, although Carlton isn't sure if she's also having an orgasm. He doesn't really have the energy to ask.

It goes on for so long it almost becomes painful, but the waves of pleasure finally subside and he collapses back on the mattress, sweat-soaked and more satisfied than he's ever been before. Shawn curls up beside him and his arms automatically go around her as if they've done this a million times.

As if they belong together.

Without any conscious thought Carlton's hand starts stroking her thick, wavy hair, which is tangled and sweaty and currently taking up far more room than he thought possible. 

'Your hair smells nice,' he says, and then immediately wishes he hadn't. All of the things he could say, like that he admires her, that she's beautiful, that he wants to date her, and he goes with 'your hair smells nice.' Pathetic.

But she laughs against his chest and says, 'It's Kangaroo Paste. You can only get it from Australia. I know a guy.'

Carlton's hands pauses mid-stroke. 'You don't mean Cole, do you?'

'Yeah.'

'But he's a convicted felon! He murdered his wife! And then he murdered another man!'

'I will not apologise for having fabulous hair. In fact, your hair could do with a little sprucing. I can get you some Kangaroo Paste by next week if you want -'

'Shawn, just ... let's just go to sleep, shall we?' He isn't really angry, and he knows he shouldn't be surprised at the length Shawn goes to keep her hair looking good. So he tugs the blanket over both of them, turns out the light, and pulls Shawn close, breathing deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray for Shassie! And for Carlton acting 'casual'. He's so adorkable.
> 
> The next chapter is all sweetness and light, with some sex thrown in.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	14. Chapter 14

Once again Shawn wakes up next to Carlton Lassiter, but his time his arms are wrapped around her, and when she rolls over to face him he gives her a slow, gentle smile that warms her skin and melts her heart.

'Morning,' he says, kissing her on the forehead. 'Breakfast?'

'Starving,' she says, although she doesn't move. 

'Good,' replies Carlton, and he kisses her on the lips, soft and slow.

'No omelette today,' he says, pulling back. 'I don't have any eggs and I have to be at work in -' He lifts his head. 'Thirty minutes. Is cereal okay?'

Shawn would rather starve if it meant they could spend the day together but she nods and follows him into the kitchen wrapped in his over-sized bathrobe. Their breakfast is quiet but comfortable, and Shawn leaves when Carlton does, following him on her motorcycle until she has to make the turn-off to her apartment. 

She spends the day half-heartedly starting things and not finishing them, putting on movies and then staring out the window, and crank calling Gus's office. Even that becomes boring quickly, especially when he texts her to say that she should stop because she's interrupting his 'real job'. Shawn points out that they don't have any cases for another week, but he never replies. She wants to call Jules and ask about how her trip with Declan went, but she knows that Juliet would never answer a personal call while at work. 

So she goes for a walk along the shore to clear her head, and when she returns home she's surprised to see Carlton leaning against the front door, trying and failing to look casual. 

She does her best not to laugh at how ridiculous he can be but her smile is genuine and it won't go away - not that she wants it to. 

She ducks under Carlton's outstretched arm and opens the door, letting herself in. 'Coming?'

He follows, and it isn't until the door is shut that Shawn allows herself to kiss him, pressing up against him and running her fingers through his salt and pepper hair. 

He kisses her back hungrily, mouth parted. He tastes like coffee and spices and ... 

'Garlic?' says, Shawn, backing up a little. 

'Sorry,' he replies. 'I had lunch at Mario's with Juliet, and their garlic bread is great.'

'Mario's? That place is kind of romantic, don't you think?'

'Oh? I didn't really notice. She said she wanted to go to her favourite restaurant because she's upset about - uh, well, that's a secret. Pretend I didn't say anything.'

Shawn guesses the 'secret' immediately, and is a little surprised that she feels so happy about it. But Carlton's lips are on her neck now, making it very difficult to concentrate on anything but the present. 

'I want to date you,' she says. She hadn't meant to say it, not exactly like that, but the words are out there now, and she pulls back to see how Carlton reacts. He just smiles and pulls her close for another kiss, which is admittedly garlicky, but she finds she doesn't mind at all. 

They stumble backwards until they reach the couch where a heavy make-out session ensues. But Shawn cannot get her brain to shut up about her mixed feelings for Carlton and Juliet and so she pulls back a little and says, 'I don't want you to think that you're a rebound for me, because you're not, I've liked you since that night at Tom Blair's pub and maybe longer, I'm not sure, and I still like Jules but we're just friends and I don't think she'll ever like me as anything else and that's okay, it really is, but I like you more and you like me right back and can we get back to kissing now?'

Carlton isn't laughing but Shawn can see that he wants to and so she kisses him hard enough that they quickly have to come up for air, although that doesn't stop her from running her tongue along his jaw line. 

He shudders above her and she takes the opportunity to slip out from under him, pulling him towards her bedroom. Inside she pushes him onto the mattress and straddles him, thoroughly enjoying his moans and sighs. 

They undress as quickly as it is possible in these situations, which is never quick enough, and their sex tonight is slower and more sensual than last night, especially when Shawn relents and lets Carlton flip her on her back, covering her neck and torso in kisses as he enters her, slow and slick and hotter than a furnace. 

With her clit firmly between his fingers she came, eyes closed and mouth open, gasping for air and breathing in his heady, masculine scent. Carlton doesn't so much collapse as he does lie gently beside her, tangling his fingers in her hair. She normally hates it when people mess with her meticulously styled mane, but his fingers continue to be soft and nimble and it's quite soothing. 

Shawn feels herself falling asleep, but rouses herself to say, 'You never said you want to date me too.'

He kisses her and whispers, 'Of course I do. Now go to sleep.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shassie forever! I will never understand why these two didn't get together in the show. But I absolutely understand why people ship them. 
> 
> The next chapter has Shawn proposing to Jules and discussions of parenting.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	15. Chapter 15

It's been three weeks since she broke up with Declan, and today is the first day she hasn't opened the door to find a dozen red roses and cards with anguished declarations of love and remorse. It's a relief, even if she did love the way the flowers made her dining room smell. 

She heads to work with a distinct feeling that her life has turned a corner, and that everything will be okay. That feeling lasts all the way to her desk where there are a stack of files and a note from the Chief to 'see me in my office.'

Chief Vick looks as bad as Juliet has ever seen her, and she goes on a long, slightly nonsensical rant about how Juliet now has to do extra paperwork.

'Chief, I have to ask, is everything okay? At home, I mean?'

She regrets the words instantly as the Chief's head snaps up. She glares at Juliet, who actually takes a step backward, holding the files protectively in front of her.

'Of course everything is fine at home, everything is just fine, just because my baby isn't sleeping and the nanny just quit and I haven't slept in _weeks_ and this morning my husband drank the last of the coffee and didn't I just tell you to finish those files?'

Juliet nods and gets out as quickly as she can without actually running away. 

The rest of the day is just as stressful, with the chief having a full-on meltdown about a small stain on her desk, so Juliet does the sensible thing and leaves the station for lunch, heading to the nearest bakery for a bear claw. Of course, even there she can't get peace as Shawn steps out from behind a potted palm tree with a grin on her face.

'Jules! What a surprise!' Her face falls. 'Oh no! I see ... there's this dark cloud surrounding you. It's starving your chi. And down at the station I can see a raccoon with dark circles under his eyes. No, _her_ eyes. It's the chief! And she's lashing out at everyone! Especially Lassie. Who in turn is taking his frustrations out on you. Look, Jules, you gotta take your chi back, take it back! And that means doing something big, something risky.'

Juliet rolls her eyes, and then her jaw drops as Shawn drops to one knee.

'Marry me, Juliet!'

The customers around them gasp and smile and Juliet drags Shawn up and away before she can embarrass them further.

'Have you lost your mind?'

'Maybe? I don't know, I haven't seen it in a while. Look Jules, this'll just be for a case. I'm trying to find the Chief a new nanny, and I need to check this place out, so you and I can pretend to be new parents. It's genius!'

'Shawn, you're not exactly the 'mothering' type.'

'Of course not, that's why you carried the baby.' 

'Me? Does this look like a post-baby body?'

They're halfway to the agency before Juliet realises where they're going, and so she gives in with a sigh and decides to let things just happen. She _would_ like to see a well-rested Chief again. 

At the agency Juliet tells them at length about 'little Millicent' while Shawn is in the bathroom, presumably divining what the spirits can tell her. She'd make a really good cop if she had even an ounce of discipline. 

After no time at all Shawn reappears and they leave, and it's on their way back to the station that Juliet finally says, 'Why didn't you ask Carlton?'

'What?'

'He actually wants kids someday, he'd make a great pretend father.'

Shawn turns pale. 'He ... wants kids?'

'Yeah, he told me. Why?'

'Oh, uh ... nothing. I asked you because I knew you were nearby, and you're way better at undercover work than Lassie. He'd still be arguing about which moustache to wear if I'd asked him.'

'True.' 

***

It takes a few more days for the chief to find a nanny while Shawn and Gus uncover a burglary ring, and during the days that Chief Vick is spreading her misery Juliet notices how happy Carlton is. So when the case is wrapped up she asks him out for a drink to celebrate, and two drinks in she asks him why he hasn't told her about his new partner yet.

'What makes you think I have a new partner?' he says, avoiding her eyes.

'I'm a cop, Carlton. Come on, I can't believe you're keeping this from me - you'd be so angry if I was dating someone and didn't tell you.'

'... We haven't been dating for long, and I wanted to wait. I was going to tell you, I was just waiting for the right time ...' He stares at his drink the entire time, and Juliet feels a sense of unease crawling up her spine.

'Carlton, just tell me. What are they, a convicted felon?' She laughs at her own joke, and when he doesn't join in she knows she's got it right. 'Oh my god, you're dating a criminal.'

'I'm dating Shawn!' he says. 

'... What?'

'A few months ago we started ... hanging out, I guess, and one thing led to another, and she's really quite kind when you get to know her. Plus her knowledge of Clint Eastwood movies is almost as good as mine.' He finally makes eye contact. 'Is that okay?'

'Well ... of course. Why wouldn't it be?' Juliet laughs again, but she doesn't really find any of this funny.

'It's just ... well, you and I dated, and Shawn had a thing for you, and the two of you are friends ... we thought it might be a little awkward.' 

'No, it's fine. Of course it's fine. In fact, let me buy you another beer.' 

They chat for a while but there is definite tension between them now, so Juliet says her goodbyes and leaves. 

At home she feels jealous and upset and pleased and tired all at the same time, so she decides to go to bed and think about it the next day. 

***

*Bear claw and coffee?* says the text, followed by a winky face. It's Shawn, of course - no one else texts her this often about food. She responds with a quick *Yes* and barely has time to get dressed when she hears the knock at her door. She opens it to find Shawn and Gus, the former grinning while the latter taps his foot impatiently.

'Good morning Jules,' he says. 'It’s nice to see you. Can we go now? I haven't eaten for an entire hour.'

'It's seven am,' she says, yawning.

'Exactly.'

Their breakfast is uneventful but more fun than she was expecting - she and Gus discuss the latest DC movie and all of the reasons it was terrible while Shawn throws around quips and tart observations. It's just like old times, and Juliet made a mental note to spend more time with these two, frustrating though they can be. Gus even drops the two of them at the station before leaving for his other job, which Juliet is surprised he still has.

Outside the station, Juliet pulls Shawn aside. 'Does the chief know you and Carlton are dating?'

She nods. 'We didn't tell her, she just figured it out. Maybe she's psychic too?'

'Mm-hmm. And she's ... okay with it?'

Shawn shrugs. 'I guess so. She just told me not to let it interfere with cases and then told me to put the fish down.'

'Why were you ... never mind.' 

Shawn looks like she's going to say something else, but instead they stand in awkward silence until Juliet says, 'Well, I'd better head in. Nice to see you again, Shawn.'

All day she thinks about Shawn and Carlton, even when she's throwing a guy against a wall to better slap some handcuffs on him. On the drive back to the station she doesn't say anything, even when Carlton subtly implies that she'd cheated by correctly guessing which way the perp would run. 

It isn't until she's about to leave that she finally thinks of the perfect gift to give to the new couple. With a small smile to herself she leaves the station, wondering now about the best time to give it to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't remember if it's okay for consultants to date police officers but they dropped the issue on the show pretty quickly so I decided to do the same. Besides, poor Lassiter's been through enough. 
> 
> The next chapter has brief glimpses of my second favourite bad guy, and a horrible realisation that leads to a healthier relationship. Oh, and a cliffhanger!
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	16. Chapter 16

It turns out that dating Shawn is very similar to holding a lit firecracker, and Carlton is never exactly sure what she's going to do next. There was the time when she moved her pinball table into his living room while he was out, and the time that she bought him a Heartbreak Ridge shower curtain with two matching bathrobes. In fact, it was a lot like the pranks she'd pulled when they'd first met, except these were sweeter and made him want to kiss her instead of arrest her. 

So when their first month anniversary came along and she suggested he leave his weekend free, Carlton was disappointed to tell her that he had to work on his latest case. She laughed and joked and told her she'd plan something for a different day, and Carlton hoped the note of sadness he detected in her voice was one he was imagining. 

He also hoped she wouldn't find out that he was actually catching up on several old cases and didn't have anything new. Being in a relationship again had awoken something inside him and he was using his newfound energy to crack some of his unsolved cases. 

Shawn went away anyway with Gus in tow, and Carlton was surprised to hear her call him after she'd been away for less than four hours, asking about a 'Pierre Despeereoreoux.' 

'Shawn, are you in my apartment?'

'Nope, haven't been there since yesterday. Which reminds me, you're out of peanut butter.'

'Yesterday? But - never mind that. How do you know about Despereaux?' 

'He's here in Canada, eh? Ooh, please tell me there's a reward for catching this guy. And ... what? Okay, Gus wants to know you have to pay taxes on reward money. No, I am not asking him that ... Gus!' 

'Shawn, do not go after this man, do you hear me? He is very dangerous. I'm coming to Canada, I'll be there in four hours!' He hangs up and turns to Chief Vick, who is standing in front of his desk with a raised eyebrow. 

'Uh, hi, Chief. Listen, I need a favour.'

***

The flight over is uneventful, although he spends most of it in quiet, seething indignation while Juliet listens to music and pointedly refuses to use 'the G word' while on the plane. He restrains himself quite well under the circumstances, and waits until they have left the airport before shouting, 'I am an officer of the law and I cannot do my job without a gun!'

'You can't have one. Where are we supposed to meet Shawn?'

'She texted me the hotel name. Let's go, maybe she's got her hands on a weapon.' Carlton knows that isn't likely, but if anyone can get him a weapon here, it's Shawn.

When they arrive at the hotel they're stopped by some meek little man with a terrible haircut. Carlton's mood isn't improved when the poor excuse for a policeman or mounties or whatever ridiculous label they've given themselves turns and silently asks for Shawn's approval. As usual she's flailing around and almost certainly compromising evidence as she 'waits for the spirit guides to answer her commands'. 

Juliet gets waved through but a scrawny arm momentarily blocks his path. He pushes past with a grunt just as Shawn shouts something about everyone following her to the roof. No one does, and later when she's telling her ridiculous story about Despereaux jumping from the roof, Carlton wonders exactly what he sees in this woman. He tries to pull her aside to talk but Gus appears, insisting that the two of them go for doughnuts because he 'hasn't eaten for a whole hour and is seeing floating protozoa and whatnot.' 

Carlton doesn't see them again until later that night when they have to stake out a boat. It is freezing, and beside him Juliet and Shawn are discussing O'Hara's hat. He tries to join in but they both ignore him. Once again, Carlton wishes he had a gun. Those, at least, never play games with him.

It only takes them a couple of days to trap Despereaux, and Carlton is thrilled with his latest arrest. They won't let him take Despereaux back to the States, but Carlton's happy that at least one more criminal is off the streets. 

He makes his way to Gus and Shawn's hotel, a bouquet of flowers in hand. He's not actually sure if his girlfriend likes flowers but he hopes she will appreciate the gesture anyway. 

He sees Shawn and Gus in the front lobby, arguing about opera singers and balloon artists. Carlton doesn't know what they're talking about but is glad he wasn't with them - he hates that sort of thing. 

Guster spots him first and wiggles his eyebrows in a way Carlton can't interpret, and then walks towards him. 

'Lassie, she doesn't want to speak to you right now. And she doesn't like flowers.' He exits the hotel, and Carlton watches him go, his jaw hanging. When he turns back Shawn is gone, but he won't let that stop him and so he heads to her room, knocking until she opens the door.

'Shawn, baby? I'm not leaving until you talk to me.' Other people are coming out of their rooms now, but he ignores them. 

He sighs. 'I have chocolates.'

The door opens and Shawn glares at him. 'Liar.'

'Yes. I am. About the chocolates. Can I come in?'

A few doors down, a middle-aged man whistles as Carlton enters the room. He ignores it, focussing on Shawn who has moved as far away from him as possible. 

'Shawn, what's wrong? You've been snippy since I got here.'

Finally she looks him in the eye. 'You told me you couldn't come on this vacation because you had work.'

'I did.'

'But you dropped everything to catch a criminal.'

'Where are you going with this?'

'Why is your work more important to you than I am?' 

Carlton's jaw actually drops. 'Shawn, I ... you know that I'm a cop, my work is so important to me. I thought you understood that.'

'I do. Of course I do. But you told me you were busy, and then you left whatever you were doing to come here which makes me think that what you were doing wasn't that important after all. So either catching criminals is more important to you than a weekend with me or you lied to me in the first place. Which is it?'

Guilt fills him. 'I ... baby, I lied to you about the weekend. I did look through some old cases but ... they were all unsolved. I thought I could solve them, I thought you and I would have time ... later.' He realises that this is seems familiar somehow, but he can't put his finger on what.

Shawn looks upset. 'Get out.'

As Carlton turns to leave he remembers: this is exactly how he lost Juliet.

So he turns and walks over until he is standing in front of the woman he loves. He takes her hands in his own and gets down on his knees.

'Shawn, I promise that I will stop taking you for granted. I will work harder on our relationship, I will stop bringing my work home, and I will start putting the toilet seat down. And I'm sorry I lied to you.'

For once, Shawn is struck dumb, and Carlton takes a moment to enjoy the feeling. Then she ruffles his hair and takes a step back.

'Fine, I forgive you,' she says. 'Let's go to the gift shop - you can buy me chocolates for reals this time.'

***

They spend a happy night in the hotel, and in the morning they head home with Carlton enjoying the legroom from the business class seats that Shawn sweet-talked the flight attendant into giving them. 

At the airport they part ways, but Carlton makes sure to organise their next date night. He has something fun planned.

He carries his sense of joy and accomplishment all through the day, and when someone knocks at his front door he practically dances over, assuming his girlfriend has come to visit.

But it is Juliet standing on his doorstep, looking more miserable that he's ever seen her.

'Carlton, I'm still in love with you,' she says. 'Can I come in?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't enjoy making these characters suffer. Why would you think that?
> 
> The next chapter has several discussions and an interesting suggestion. Finally. 
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	17. Chapter 17

She sometimes wonders if she's going insane. She had a great boyfriend who she let go, even though it was probably for the best. She kissed someone while dating said boyfriend and even though she didn't initiate it, she'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about that kiss - a lot. And now here she is, standing in her ex-boyfriend's living room, confessing her love for him even while painfully aware that he is happy in his current relationship. 

Carlton lets her in, but now he doesn't seem to know what to do with her and he stands awkwardly on the other side of the room, the large oak table between them. Juliet wonders if he's trying to hide.

'Should we ... talk?' she says, hoping that talking it through will clear up at least some of the craziness. It's a technique that's always worked for her and she's not about to change now. 

They sit on the couch and Juliet suddenly has a flashback to all of the times they'd had sex on this exact spot. The urge to laugh as well as cry is nearly overwhelming, so she speaks instead.

'I know this isn't ideal,' she says. 'And I know that you're dating Shawn. I just ... I had to tell you.'

Her partner can't quite look her in the eye. 

'O'Hara, when we were in Canada Shawn and I had a long talk about our relationship. She told me that I spend too much time on work, and I realised she was right - and I also realised that's where you and I went wrong. And I ... care for you, deeply. But I'm in love with Shawn. You and I are partners. Work partners. That's all.'

Juliet nods calmly and leaves. She stays dry-eyed on the drive home and makes it through her front door before she lets the regret hit her like a wave. She focuses on breathing, and on letting it pass. 

The chances of Carlton taking her back were slim, and she's happy she hasn't hurt Shawn, and she repeats this over and over until she feels the weight of it all slide away and she can stand up straight again. 

Then Juliet sets her thoughts on tomorrow and goes to bed.

***

She's eating lunch with her family and having a good time when she gets the text: *Can u come by Carlton's after ur lunch? We need to chat* 

There aren't any emoticons or indecipherable acronyms, and she knows instantly that Carlton told Shawn everything. The peas suddenly taste like ash and she gently lays her fork down, excusing herself from the table and taking a few minutes of quiet time in her parents' bedroom. 

An hour later she stands on Carlton's doorstep, head held high as she runs through what she wants to say. The door opens and it's Shawn standing there, wearing an actual dress, and all of the words flee and all Juliet can think to say is, 'Hi.' 

Shawn smiles in response and waves her inside. 

Carlton is sitting on the couch in the same spot he was last night, and gives the impression that he hasn't moved since then. His face is (for want of a better word) stony, and the crease between his eyebrows has appeared, which means that he's definitely upset about something. He doesn't move as Juliet returns to her spot on the couch, although he turns his head to follow Shawn as she paces in front of them.

Shawn's speech is difficult to follow, and at first Juliet thinks she must be joking. But the animation and excitement in her voice can't be mistaken, and soon Juliet realises that Shawn is being serious - she wants the three of them to be a couple. Even though the definition of 'a couple' is 'two'. 

It's confusing, and it takes Juliet a moment to realise that Shawn has stopped speaking as she stands in front of them, out of breath and pink in the face. 

'What do you think?' she says.

Juliet turns to Carlton. He hasn't moved and his face hasn't changed, although the crease between his brows may have gotten deeper. When she is sure he won't say anything, she turns back to Shawn.

'Can I think about this?' she asks. Shawn nods and Jules makes a hasty getaway.

'How did my life turn out like this?' she mutters as she gets into her car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shassiet! (Potentially.) And it only took me 17 chapters!
> 
> The next chapter has a big decision (can you guess what it is?).
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	18. Chapter 18

She didn't quite remember how an internet search for 'How to have hair like Anna Kendrick' turned up a blog from a polyamorous couple, but it did and she read it and ever since the idea of being in a relationship with more than two people had always been in the back of her mind. 

She didn't think it would be an issue since she rarely got past more than one date with anybody. Technically her longest relationship with anybody was with Gus, but the thought of dating him gave her the mental equivalent of dry heaves, and Gus had once said that dating her would basically be incest.

So Shawn danced and laughed through life, enjoying her flings and ridiculous adventures until she found herself at the Santa Barbara police station, and into the lives of Carlton Lassiter and Juliet O'Hara. The seed of the idea, buried for so long, raised a tiny, tentative stalk. 

It took a while before she could even bring it up, but now that she had she found herself obsessed with the idea, planning out dates and imagining how and where they would live. She researched blogs and forums and spoke to people, filling herself with so much information and advice that it constantly threatened to overflow. If one or both of them said no to Shawn's idea she wasn't sure that she'd be able to handle it. 

She'd strode back and forth across Carlton's living room, arms waving wildly in the air as everything she knew and wanted to experience from a polyamorous relationship came spilling out of her. She hoped like hell that she wasn't overwhelming the others but once she started talking she couldn't stop until she was gasping for air, having been so excited that she'd forgotten how to breathe and speak at the same time. 

They hadn't dismissed the idea straight away, which Shawn took as a good sign. She noticed Carlton sneaking glances at Jules, who kept her eyes on the floor throughout. Jules asked if she could leave, and Shawn nodded. She practically ran out of the door and Shawn watched her go with an audible sigh. 

'Carlton?' she asks quietly, sitting next to him. 'You haven't said anything. For a while.'

'You want me to date you _and_ Juliet?'

'No. I want _us_ to date Jules, but I don't think she'll go for that. So Jules and I will date you, and you date us both, and Jules and I can be friends. Everyone wins!' 

His head turns so slowly that Shawn thinks she might be imagining it. 'And you're okay with the thought of me dating someone else?'

'So long as that person is Jules. Gus is off-limits.' 

That gets a laugh and breaks the tension in the room. Carlton relaxes enough to embrace Shawn, who leans into him gratefully. 

'If Juliet says yes then I'm in,' he says quietly. 'But if it gets difficult - and it will - we stop, and we go back to the two of us.' 

They stay curled up together until Shawn's phone rings. Gus' boss is being haunted and he's hired Shawn and Gus to take the case. 

Shawn takes her leave and does her best to focus on how long she should fake the haunting instead of how it will feel to see her boyfriend (hopefully) be happier than he's ever been.

***

Carlton's texts are always straight to the point, and despite much 'training' from Shawn he refuses to add a single emoticon. Still, when he texts that Jules has thought about it and is willing to try 'this poly thing' Shawn is overjoyed and decides to ignore the fact that Carlton used the phrase 'significant other' with zero irony. 

She texts them both that they should have lunch today to discuss boundaries, and then laughs when she realises what she's just said. She wants to tell Gus but he's still mad about the whole 'fake haunting' thing even though it was _so_ two days ago. 

Their lunch date gets changed by Jules at the last minute, who insists they eat takeout at a local park instead of a restaurant. She won't say why and Shawn doesn't push - the more he gives her her own way now the more likely she'll be to see Shawn's way later. Hopefully. 

'How is this going to work, exactly?' says Carlton before he's even opened his chopsticks. 

'I will date you. And Jules will date you. And you will date the both of us. And Gus will die alone, survived by seven cats.' 

The deliciousness of her fried rice with extra pineapple is a good way of distracting her from Juliet's hair, which is always beautifully styled. Shawn should ask her for some tips. 

'So you and I won't be dating?' asks Jules.

'No.'

She goes back to her dim sum. 

'Would we set up ... I don't know, a roster of some sort?' Carlton looks at his food as he speaks and suspicion blooms in Shawn.

'You already made a roster, didn't you?'

'How'd you know that?' asks Jules.

'Psychically. I just didn't have time for the whole -' Shawn waves her hand near her temple and focuses on Carlton. 'Did you bring it?'

Wordlessly he pulls is from his pocket and hands it over. Shawn knows she shouldn't be surprised that it's colour-coded, but she rolls her eyes anyway before handing it to Juliet. 

'I'm surprised you didn't laminate it,' says Shawn.

'My laminator's broken.'

She stuffs some rice into her mouth to stop herself from laughing as Juliet hands the roster back to Carlton. 'That all seems ... organised,' she says.

Carlton actually beams. 'Thank you.' Shawn shovels more food into her mouth. 

'So, when do we start?' asks Jules, putting her empty carton on the seat beside her. 

'Well, if you'd checked the roster you'd see that Shawn and I have a date planned for tonight, and then I have a quiet day, so we can have dinner on Thursday.' 

'Sounds great Lassie!' says Shawn, jumping down from her seat atop the picnic table. 'Great job with the timetable.'

'Roster.'

'Cool. Now, which one of you lucky people gets to give me a lift to Central Coast? Gus and I have lunch plans.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I doubt that any of these characters would be interested in a polyamorous relationship, but I did my best to make them say yes while still in character. Let me know if you think it worked.
> 
> The next chapter has two people on a date and two different people having sex. 
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	19. Chapter 19

His apprehensiveness is funny (funny ridiculous, not funny haha), even though he wouldn't admit it to anyone. He’d dated Juliet for months, they had sex multiple times, sometimes on the same night, and now he's nervous because he can't decide what shirt to wear?

For a brief moment Carlton wishes he were having dinner with Shawn. She doesn't care what he's wearing, but can easily be distracted if he leaves a button open on his shirt. Juliet cares about appearances, even if she won't admit it. In the end he decides on a shirt she bought him. It's a shameless attempt at flattery and he knows full well that she will notice and be pleased. 

She waits for him outside the restaurant, looking even more worked up than she did on their first date. He feels his heart warm and his cock stir simultaneously and greets her with a smile.

Their respective worries drop away quickly over dinner, and Carlton feels some of his old feelings return. And yet, as dessert arrives and he's telling her about his funniest arrest, he nearly slips and calls her 'Shawn', He catches himself in time and excuses himself to go to the bathroom, where he spends an entire minute staring at his own reflection and breathing deeply until the timer on his phone lets him know that the minute is up. 

After the date he and Juliet kiss, but he doesn't feel like going any further and so he leaves her on her front porch with a smile and a wave. He spends the night alone, wondering how exactly he ended up with two girlfriends and why it doesn't feel quite right.

At lunch the next day he brushes off McNab's attempt to bond and leaves to have lunch with Shawn. Fortunately she is sitting alone and Guster is nowhere to be seen. 

'Lassitariat!' she says, looking up from her phone. 'How was your date last night?'

'It was good,' he says, kissing her on the cheek.

'... And? Come on sweetie, you've gotta give me more than that! Did you guys talk? What did she smell like? Did you spend the night at her house? Were feathers involved?'

'Yes, like peaches, no, and no.'

Shawn's jaw drops. 'You didn't go to her place? But she's totally into you!' 

'Can we not talk about this?' says Carlton, waving the waitress over. 

Shawn looks annoyed but nods, blessedly quiet for once. 

Their lunch is over quickly and ends with Shawn kissing Carlton deeply, promising to bring home Thai food for dinner. He tells her he can't wait.

He and Juliet spend the rest of the afternoon chasing and then booking some lowlife who robbed a convenience store. The fact that she was a little old lady did not dampen his enthusiasm at all, which caused some friction with his partner, who wanted to let the perp go. Fortunately Chief Vick took Carlton's side, and when he left she was being lead into the holding cells. 

Still, the encounter leaves a bad taste in his mouth and when he comes home he's in a bit of a mood, which is not improved by the sight of Shawn and Gus eating popsicles on his favourite couch.

'Carlton, good news! We got you a grape one,' says Shawn. 

'I don't eat popsicles.'

She shrugs and turns to Gus. 'I guess we're sharing then.'

'How do you share a popsicle?'

'You take a lick, I take a lick, then you take a-'

'It's yours.'

'Well, this has all been very amusing, but if you could leave us, Guster? I'd like some alone time with my lady love.' 

Gus shrugs and leaves, leaving Shawn looking annoyed. 'That was rude. What's up?'

Carlton takes Gus' place on the couch and lets out a huge sigh. 'I'm not sure I can do this.'

'Sit on the couch? You just did, and well, I might add.' 

'I meant ... dating two people. I love you, and I have a huge amount of respect for Juliet but I'm not sure ... it's just a little confusing.'

Shawn pouts a little. 'This really sounds like a conversation you should be having with Jules.' 

Carlton nods. 

'Anyway, I got you pad thai. I know it's your favourite. And there were egg rolls, but Gus ate them.'

'You ate them, didn't you?'

'Gus ate most of them. Like, half. Well, slightly less than half. But he definitely ate some.'

Carlton leans over and kisses her. Shawn tastes like strawberries and egg rolls, and it's a surprisingly good combination. 

'I'm not hungry,' he says, his voice throaty.

Shawn's eyes light up and without hesitation she takes Carlton's hand and leads him to their bedroom. 

***

The next day at work, Carlton has his speech for Juliet lined up. 

Item one: He's in love with Shawn.

Item two: He also loves Juliet, but not romantically.

Item three: He doesn't think this threesome thing will work out. 

He rehearses it over and over until he's got it memorised, and then spends the day worrying about when to tell her. He's so distracted that he almost takes a knife to the arm, but O'Hara steps between them and disarms the criminal, getting a long, shallow slice along her forearm in the process. 

He goes crazy then, slamming the man against the wall and cuffing him far tighter than is necessary. Later, when the scumbag's been taken away and Carlton is binding Juliet's arm, he makes sure to kiss her cheek when no one else is looking. 

'Taking a knife for me earns you a drink,' he says, trying to keep things light.

She rolls her eyes at him. 'Two, at least,' she replies. 

This time, he doesn't check to see if anyone's around before he kisses her. 

'It's a date,' he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jules. But she'll have a better time from now on, I promise. 
> 
> The next chapter is all about dating and friendship and going to the movies.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	20. Chapter 20

She is back with the man she loves, although she feels now she loves him in a different way - still romantic, of course, but with a little less lust and more of a slow, deep burn that she feels could last them for years.

She hopes it will last that long.

But Juliet O'Hara, quirky though she is, is not entirely comfortable in a relationship with three people in it, even though she only has to date one of them. So one day she calls Shawn and asks her to lunch.

Shawn is early, for once, and her hair looks a little flat, like it hasn’t been brushed properly. 

'Are you okay?' asks Juliet. 

Shawn nods, then shakes her head. 'I don't want to talk about it. Can we order? I'm starving.'

When their food comes Juliet feels ready to speak.

'How are you adjusting to ... this?' she asks.

'I'm doing great,' she says, slurping her cereal noisily. 'Carlton's adjusting, but he'll come around. You?'

Juliet looks at the woman she calls her friend. Maybe even her best friend, although she knows full well that Shawn feels differently about her. Shawn shares her partner. Shawn makes Jules laugh. Shawn was the one who encouraged her to start this crazy roller coaster ride, to ask out Carlton, to screw the rules and go after what she wanted.

'I'm actually doing okay,' she says, and she's surprised to find that she means it. 'I mean, it's a little unconventional, and I haven't even thought about how I'm going to tell my family but ... yeah, it's good.' 

Shawn grins at that. 'Great! And it's good to see you again, I feel like we don't hang out much any more.' She blushes a little and ducks her head.

Juliet nods. 'True.'

'One way we could get to hang out more is if you could get the Chief to give us more cases. A shout-out from you would really -'

'Nice try Shawn.'

She shrugs. 'Don't knock it, Jules.' 

Juliet sighs. 'I will see what I can do. No guarantees, though.' 

'Cool. In the mean time, how about you and I go to the movies tonight? They're showing Ocean's Eleven and Twelve, double feature. I got two tickets on our last case.'

'Sounds good, but why aren't you going with Gus?'

'He's in Jamaica. His Grandma Lavender broke a hip teaching her line dancing class, and then broke her other hip in the hospital trying to learn tap dancing.'

'Wait, she was trying to tap dance with her hips still in a cast?'

'Yes.'

'...Okay. I'll see you there at seven?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Gus should be in the story more, but I just can't fit him in. Sorry. 
> 
> The next chapter has sadness and a HUGE awkward moment. Sorry, Jules.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	21. Chapter 21

Shawn's bored and trying to debate who she should have dinner with. After several minutes trying to find a coin to flip, she simply shrugs and heads to Carlton's place, figuring that she could make herself scarce in the spare room while Juliet and Carlton enjoy their date. 

When she opens the door she sees them sprawled across the couch, Juliet's skirt hitched up around her hips while her hands unbutton Carlton's shirt. Shawn stares at them for a moment before walking towards the kitchen. She tries to be quiet, she really does, but halfway there she hears a weird squeaking noise and she can see Juliet sitting up on the couch.

'Shawn! What are you doing here!' It's not a question. But she treats it like one in the hopes that they'll thinks she's charming.

'Getting dinner? Don't worry, I'll be out of your hair in a sec.' She wants to add more, about how insanely beautiful Juliet looks with her hair rumpled and her now-wrinkled shirt.

Carlton is sitting up too but he looks more resigned than angry. 'Yours is in the fridge. Red container.'

She grabs her food and heads to the spare room, eating her pasta while staring at the wall. She can't get them image of her boyfriend and his girlfriend out of her head. She isn't jealous of them - she wants, _so badly_ , to join in. 

Being trained almost from birth to pay attention to your surroundings isn't always a great thing. Shawn can hear them walking into the bedroom, and puts on music to cover up the soft, sweet noises they're making. But even then she starts imagining the three of them having sex, falling asleep in a messy pile on the bed and then waking up the next morning and having breakfast. Jules would have coffee and look on as Carlton would make pancakes. He'd be chatting about his new moustache kit and then Shawn would come in, kiss them both on the cheek and crack jokes until all three of them were crying with laughter. 

The music is good but it can't cover up Juliet's enthusiastic cries of joy. Shawn sighs and puts on a movie, crawling under the covers and wishing things were different. 

***

The next morning Shawn hears a gentle knock on her door. She assumes it's Carlton and opens it with a wide smile. But it's Jules, and she looks like she's about to cry. 

Shawn literally bites her tongue in an effort to stop herself making a joke and relieve the sudden tension, instead pulling Jules inside and closing the door behind them.

Before she can ask what's wrong Juliet turns around and says, 'He said your name. Last night. In bed. Like he was thinking about you while he was with me. And I know it was just an honest mistake but I can't get it out of my head and you're the only one I can talk to and this is weird and how do you do it, Shawn?' She reaches forward and grasps Shawn's hands. They are soft and warm and trembling ever so slightly. 

'This is what I want, Jules,' she says softly. 'The three of us, making this work. I think we can. Do you want to?'

Jules says nothing, and Shawn gives her a gentle hug. She is nearly overcome by a fierce need to pull Jules in close for a kiss, hot and sweet, but she stops at patting her on the back. 

'Talk to Carlton.'

Jules pulls away, a small smile on her face. 'Thanks for listening, Shawn. You're ...' She looks confused for a moment. 'You're ... special. To Carlton, I mean. And you're a great friend.' She leaves, brushing past Shawn on her way out.

Shawn sits down on the bed, thinking over what Jules had said. She'd called her 'special'. She'd come to Shawn when she was upset. 

She might think of Shawn as more than a friend after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said Jules would have a better time from now on, and I meant it when I said it, but ... Anyway, she'll have a better time from now on. No, really, this time I mean it. 
> 
> The next chapter has an apology dinner and a morning offer.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	22. Chapter 22

Making mistakes is worse than having to date a vegan. With dreadlocks. And he's never gotten someone's name wrong before. Not a perp, not a suspect, and certainly not when he's as deep inside someone as he can physically be, their fingers tangled in his hair and his lips on their neck. He'd apologised over and over until the words no longer held meaning. Juliet had said she'd forgiven him, then left as soon as possible. 

Crap. 

So he'd called and promised an intimate dinner for the two of them, even though it was his night off, according to his own schedule. His therapist had talked about keeping commitments, but he decided that in this case she was wrong and he could do what he liked. 

Jules arrived looking perfect, as she always does. She smiled at him, and it was genuine rather than forced. He knows in that moment that she's prepared to forgive him and a slow smile spreads across his face. 

Dinner is well-cooked and delicious, and conversation stays light. Carlton does start to apologise once more, but she shakes her head. 

'It's done. Let's move on,' she says, and he nods. 

After dinner they move to the couch where the exchange soft, slow kisses. But their hands stay firmly at each other's waists, and even though Carlton wants to lead her to the bedroom, he knows it isn't the right time. So they part ways with another kiss, and Carlton has a cold shower before going to bed. 

***

When Shawn and Gus next come to the station he sees them standing in front of his 'Board of Victory' (McNab's words, not his). And even though one of them is his lover and the other is someone Carlton grudgingly calls a friend, he can't help but gloat a little. Shawn mutters something about his suit coming from 'the toilet store'. Carlton shakes his head, waits until no one is looking, and pecks her on the cheek.

'I'll call you tonight, baby,' he whispers. Her hand briefly squeezes his, and then she and Gus are gone, probably to beg Karen for more cases. 

Keeping in touch with Juliet is easy, and although they agreed to keep their personal and professional lives separate, there is always time for a few stolen kisses and caresses, and the inevitable long, intimate chats that happen during stakeouts. She doesn't mind missing a date or two, but reminds him to call Shawn, because the last time Juliet saw her she was 'saying something about dinosaurs killing people'. 

Carlton calls her once a day, and even though she won't say anything about what she's doing, he can tell she's happy. 

A few days later Shawn and Gus solve a decades-old murder as well as a recent one, breaking Carlton's streak heartily. Also, it turns out she was right about the dinosaur. Sort of. Juliet hugs him and tells him to go home.

He stops at Tom Blair's pub first for a drink to celebrate his recent hot streak. He intends to go home straight away, but he gets distracted by the baseball game and doesn't leave until it's over.

As he walks through the front door he notices that something is wrong, although he can't put his finger on what. Pulling his gun, he does a sweep of the apartment. He realises his bedroom light is on, and goes to investigate. 

Shawn is sprawled across his bed, fully dressed. Half-burnt candles flicker as the breeze from the open door hits them. Rose petals stick to his shows as he moves towards his girlfriend, who is fast asleep, mouth open in an undignified gape.

He's never loved her more. 

He changes into his pyjamas, blows out the candles, and gets on the bed, pulling her close. She mumbles sleepily into his neck but doesn't wake. 

When he wakes the next morning he is stiff from being in the same position all night. Shawn hasn't moved either, and he kisses her softly on the forehead. Her eyelids flutter open. 

'Morning,' she whispers.

'You don't have a key,' he replies. 

'No.'

'Would you like one?'

Shawn looks at him. 'What?'

'I'm asking you to move in with me.'

Her smile is so wide it must hurt. 'I guess that could be okay,' she says, her light-hearted tone not quite disguising the glee on her face. 

They kiss, and kiss again until Carlton is dizzy with love and some air loss.

'Breakfast?' says Shawn. 'I'm making.' 

Carlton follows her into the kitchen. As they make toast, he remembers what he wanted to ask. 

'Shawn, how did you break into my apartment?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so pleased I managed to get Zippy into the story. Sort of. 
> 
> The next chapter has more kisses, but between who, I will not say. 
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	23. Chapter 23

Shawn is making a few extra bucks by 'guessing' the age and weight of the Santa Barbara police, and nailing it, of course. When she relieves them of their money and snacks they clear away, revealing Jules sitting alone at her desk. Shawn makes her way over.

'Detective O'Hara, how lovely to see you again,' she said. 

'Shawn, why are you over enunciating your words?'

'What? I am not doing that. Why are you underenunciating your ... that's a big word.'

'That's not a word at all.' 

'Is your hair darker?' 

'Yes it is, you're the first one to notice and I had it done a week ago.' 

'A week?' Shawn thinks back and realises she hasn't seen Jules since she and Carlton moved in together ten days ago. 

'I know you love talking about hair but I have work to do. Excuse me.' 

Shawn considers herself something of an expert on Jules (in a non-stalkery way), and she doesn't sound upset at all. Still, Shawn feels a little like she's been hogging their boyfriend and decides to make amends. 

After a quick two-hour session at the arcade and a nap at the Psych office, she calls Gus for recipe ideas. When all three of her calls go straight to voicemail she gives up and spends the next hour searching for shrimp soup recipes and messing around on a 'Harry and the Henderson's' blog. 

Finally she heads to Carlton's ... no, _Shawn and Carlton's_ place and starts cooking a meal for the three of them. Juliet's text says that she will be over as soon as she's done with work, but Carlton's text is far more depressing. 

*Can't make it baby, Karen and I are going to a seminar on non-lethal weaponry. Kisses to you and Juliet*

She almost cancels, but the idea of a dinner with just her and Jules is too good to let go, so she says nothing. 

When Jules arrives she looks happy, then confused. 'Where's Carlton?'

'Conference with the chief. Horse devour?'

'... Do you mean hors d'oeuvre?'

'I've heard it both ways.' 

They sit at the kitchen table, catching each other up on their respective lives.

Their conversation is easy and light and full of banter and witty jokes. Most of them are Shawn's, but Jules makes a better audience than a comedian. 

It's one of the things that Shawn loves about her.

After dinner Shawn puts the dishes in the sink 'to soak', and she and Jules watch 'The Breakfast Club'. They both sing along to "Don't You (Forget About Me)", punching their fists into the air at the exact same time.

'God that's a great film,' says Shawn happily as the final chords fade out. Jules nods appreciatively. 

'We should watch another one,' she says. 'But it's my turn to pick.'

Jules unpredictably picks some movie called 'Gamer', and even though it isn't very good Shawn and Jules verbally appreciate how attractive Gerard Butler is in it. 

With a groan, Shawn looks around her. The clock says that it's six a.m., and with a jolt Shawn realises that the warm body in danger of falling off the couch is Juliet. Once again, Shawn has unintentionally slept with a member of the Santa Barbara police force without meaning to. At least she didn't get drunk this time.

She wants to get up, she really does, but she's tired from sleeping so awkwardly and Jules is so deliciously warm and she smells so nice that Shawn lays back down, burying her face in Juliet's hair. She mumbles in her sleep and wriggles backwards until she's pressed firmly against Shawn. 

Shawn sighs and throws an arm over Juliet, pulling her closer and wishing so desperately that the beautiful woman in her arms would love her back.

'What time is it?'

Shawn's eyes open again - an hour has passed. 'It's seven, Jules.'

At the sound of her voice Juliet sits up, so quickly she falls off the couch, narrowly missing the coffee table. Shawn reaches forward to help but Juliet backs away. 

'I need to have breakfast. And coffee.' 

Shawn nods, keeping the sadness from her face. 

They eat their cereal in silence, exchanging a quick 'Goodbye,' as Juliet walks out the door. Shawn has a very strong sense of déjà vu, but this cheers her up a little - it had worked out very well last time. 

She showers and dresses and heads to the Space Center with Gus, who had convinced her that it would be fun. It wasn't. Well, not until Shawn realised that someone at the Space Center was harbouring not one but _two_ escaped felons, masquerading as cleaners. She called Jules, who got to make a huge bust, and simultaneously set Gus up with some cute chick named Jessica, although Gus took all the credit for himself. As if his stupid Pluto line had ever worked on anyone, ever. 

As McNab and Dobson haul the criminals into their black-and-whites, Jules turns to Shawn.

'Thanks for all the help, Shawn. You did a good thing today. Do you need a ride home?' 

'Actually, Gus was going to -' As she speaks she turns to see Gus and Jessica disappearing into the planetarium show. '... never mind. He's going to be a while.' 

The ride back would have been in comfortable silence, but Shawn can't stand the quiet so she fiddles with the radio until Juliet snaps at her. Fortunately, the drive isn't a long one, and soon they are in Carlton's driveway. 

'Listen Jules, about last night -' says Shawn, but Juliet lays a hand on hers. 

'Shawn, can you just ... shut up, for one moment? I think the best things, the richest things, aren't supposed to come easily. And that sometimes the moments that make the most sense happen when everything else doesn't.'

'Detective O'Hara, what are you trying to say?'

She leans forward and kisses Shawn and this time it feels _right_ because they both want it, they're both tired of the gap between them and so they rush to close it with soft lips and soft hands and soft, quiet sighs. 

After an age they pull apart. 

'We'll probably have to change the roster now,' Juliet whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I highly doubt Shawn can cook. But that's what the story needed, and since she'd probably make an amazing cook if she bothered to learn, I thought I'd throw it in. 
> 
> The next chapter has fighting, vomiting and a distinct smell of fish. It'll be fun!
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	24. Chapter 24

He's her partner, on and off the job, and she can read him like a book. But she wants to tell him anyway.

'Carlton, I want to date Shawn too.' 

He doesn't put down the camera, but she can see his smile reflected in the glass. 

'I know,' he says.

'I know you know. But I wanted to tell you. To make sure that the air is clear.'

'I don't mind you dating my girlfriend. Ooh, there he is! Come to papa, you little -'

And that's all the discussion they need.

***

They're squeezed onto Juliet's couch, Shawn stealing Carlton's roll while he plays footsies with Juliet under the table. Carlton successfully saves his roll so Shawn leans across him and grabs Juliet's instead. 

'We should do this more often,' says Jules, tugging her fortune cookie away from her girlfriend, who pauses.

'We should do this every night!' she says, her eyes shining with enthusiasm. 

'Well, that's not what I -'

'No, seriously! Jules, you should totally move in with us! Tonight! Do you have any boxes?' She jumps off the couch and heads to Juliet's bedroom. Juliet follows her.

'Shawn, we started dating a week ago. Don't you think it's too soon?'

'Juliet's right, Shawn. Besides, my place doesn't have room for three people, even if we all share the same bed,' says Carlton. 

Juliet turns. 'Who said we all have to move to your place?'

He shrugs. 'It's the biggest. And the nicest. And the one with the soundest plumbing.' 

'It's also the only one where a murder occurred,' says Jules smugly.

They bicker until Shawn declares that's she both bored and tired. She and Carlton leave Juliet to tidy up. She does so, wondering why her place suddenly feels so ... empty. 

***

For three days straight Shawn sends Juliet and Carlton housing listings for places that could fit not only the three of them but possibly an army as well. 

Finally during a dinner with the three of them Juliet asks her to stop. 'It's too soon for us to move in together, Shawn. But, I thought that we could get away for a weekend. I've already requested time off for next week, and Carlton, you have plenty of holidays. Unless a big case comes up, the Chief will definitely give you time off.' 

Shawn's eyes light up, and Juliet wonders if that's good or bad. She finds out the next day when she and Carlton are showered - literally - in holiday brochures. _At least she had the decency not to do it at the station,_ Juliet thinks as she brushes away a pamphlet on riding elephants in Australia. 

After a lot of bickering they agree on a private yacht. Shawn just happens to know the man who owns it and she promises she can get them a great deal. 

As Carlton and Juliet leave work they get simultaneous texts of Shawn hanging upside down from the railing of a yacht.

*This is gonna be us!* says the text.

Juliet shares a look with her boyfriend. He shakes his head and they part ways in silence. 

***

Shawn is leaning so far over the railing that Juliet is worried that she'll go all the way over and into the sea. She's throwing up _again_ and Juliet wants to help her, she really does, but Carlton is too busy being ridiculous. For the past hour she's been trying to tell him that the best bait to catch tuna is shrimp, but he insists that it's whitebait and when neither of them agree he tosses all of her shrimp over the side where it mingles with whatever it was Shawn had for breakfast.

So now she's inside the cabin, breathing deeply until she's calm enough not to smack Carlton upside the head. The last she did that to someone, she got kicked out of cheerleading camp. 

When she emerges Carlton is nowhere to be seen and Shawn is sobbing because she got vomit in her hair. Juliet cleans her up as much as she can, filling the now empty bait bucket with water to wash her girlfriend's hair, since Shawn refuses to move away from the railing. Of course, Carlton chooses that moment to point out that the water should be kept for drinking only, and now it isn't even clean because there are bits of fish guts in it. This just makes Shawn cry harder, and Juliet throws the bucket at Carlton, where it hits him in the chest. He doesn't even flinch, and she cries out in frustration and tells Shawn to fix her own damn hair. 

That night, when Shawn has been coaxed inside (although she refuses to get up from the floor), Juliet and Carlton share a meal of something canned. The label has fallen off, but it smells okay and tastes vaguely of stew, so they risk it. Besides, for some reason no one, not even Shawn, remembered to bring food, although Juliet does remember she and Carlton enthusiastically claiming that they would catch enough fish for all three of them. 

There is one bed and no couch, so Juliet and Carlton have to share. They both agree Shawn should have the blanket, and so they have to wrap themselves in their coats to stay warm, since cuddling is not an option tonight. Juliet doesn't cuddle sore losers. Or bad fishermen. Or irritating boyfriends who have to be right all. The. Time.

The next morning is just as tense as the day before, but worse because they're hungry, except for Shawn who is missing, although the sound of dry-heaving coming from outside the cabin tells Juliet where she is. 

They have until sunset to give the boat back, but by silent agreement she and Carlton agree to head back early. They're a few hours away from shore, and Carlton takes the wheel without even asking. So Jules strips down to her tasteful one piece and settles herself on the deckchair, determined that she would at least get a decent tan from this wreck of a weekend. 

She hers a weird scraping sound and turns to see another deckchair being pulled up beside her. 

'Shawn, what are you doing?'

'Tanning.'

She looks much better, and although she's still a little pale she isn't sweating and her hair is now out of the way in a messy pony tail. 

They sit in silence until Carlton calls out, 'Juliet? Baby? Could you come here for a minute?'

Carlton is steering the yacht, looking contrite. 

'I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. And this morning,' he said. 

'We didn't even speak this morning.'

'I didn't say it to you, I was talking to my reflection. Look, the point is, I'm sorry about what I said and I think that we should never, ever go fishing together again.' 

Jules leans forward to kiss him on the cheek. 'You just don't want me to prove that I'm a better fisherwoman than you.'

He laughs. 'How's Shawn?'

'Tanning. I think she'll be okay.'

'We'll be back in the marina in half an hour,' he says, and Juliet turns to leave. 

'I love you Carlton,' she says.

'I love you too.' 

Juliet heads back to the deck where Shawn is dozing in her deckchair. Ignoring her own chair, Juliet climbs onto Shawn's, pushing the other woman aside until there is room for both of them. 

'What're you doin'?' mumbles Shawn.

'Cuddling.' Juliet pulls back, just a little. 'You're not going to vomit again, right?'

'No,' says Shawn, resting her head on Juliet's shoulder. They stay that way until Carlton pulls the yacht smoothly into dock, getting up only when he nudges them. 

'We have to be off the boat in twenty minutes or we lose our deposit,' he says. 

They grab their gear and head towards the parking lot, where they stand awkwardly. 

'I'd better get Shawn home,' says Carlton. 'She hasn't eaten since yesterday.'

Shawn only nods sleepily in agreement. 

Juliet drives herself home, washing her things straight away (she got some of Shawn's vomit on her sleeve and she can still smell it). She showers, dresses in her most comfortable pyjamas even though it's only four in the afternoon, and flops onto the couch, staring at the ceiling. 

After ten minutes of silent reflection she gets dressed and drives over to Carlton and Shawn's house, letting herself in with the key they'd given her. 

Inside, Carlton is on the couch with Shawn curled up next to him, her head in his lap as he strokes her hair. Neither gets up as she joins them, although Carlton moves over as far as he can to give her room. She sits beside him and rests her head on his shoulder, tangling her fingers in Shawn's hair. 

After a while both Shawn and Carlton start to snore. Juliet gently shakes them both awake and tells them to go to bed. As she goes to leave both of her partners grab her by the wrist and tug her towards the bedroom where the three of them fall into bed, curling themselves around each other before falling into a deep, restful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought their weekend away would go off without a hitch then you really haven't been paying attention. But yay for adorable endings!
> 
> The next chapter is the last one! It has ... well, it has a lot of things, and it also has the Shassiet threesome I'm sure you've all been waiting for. Get ready, because it's going to be a long one.
> 
> If you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


	25. Chapter 25

The three of them have been together as a couple for a month now. Carlton knows this, because Shawn has written "ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY DON'T FORGET" in red on the calendar. But if there's one thing Carlton Jebediah Lassiter doesn't do, it's forget anniversaries. (His ex-wife might disagree, but he maintains _she_ got the dates wrong. It was one of the things he cited in their divorce papers.) 

It's a rare night off for all three of them and Carlton has the perfect dinner planned. For once the local store had everything he needed, including candles and massage oil. The clerk had winked suggestively at him as he paid, but Carlton chose to ignore it. He's dating two beautiful, intelligent, crazy-but-in-a-fun-way women - who cares what some pimply-faced teenager thinks?

As he cooks dinner he starts to worry. Everything is going off without a hitch, and if life has taught him anything it's that when everything is this good, it's all about to come crashing down. 

The front door crashes open and Shawn dances inside, sniffing vigorously. 

'Mmm, that smells good!' She tries to get past Carlton, but he fends her off, pinning her against the counter to stop her interfering with the food. 

Rather than get discouraged, her eyes light up and she grinds a little against Carlton's hips. He shakes his head and steps back, ignoring her pout. 

'Save it for later,' he says. She laughs and walks away.

***

Shawn gets dressed with more care than usual. She wishes Gus was here to advise her on her 'shirt/skirt/eyes' combination, but he insisted that she could do it by herself now. 

'We're not 29 anymore, Shawn! You can dress yourself.' 

She hasn't been spending as much time with him as usual, and she misses him. But they make it a point to have lunch together every day, and she tells her all about her relationships while he tells her about Rachael and her son Maximus. Shawn thinks the woman must be insane (who names their kid Maximus?) but she seems nice enough, and all the digging Shawn could do revealed nothing bad about her, so she leaves her be. For now. 

She goes with the shirt she was wearing when she first met Jules and her longest skirt. Shawn's embarrassed about her knees, but the others haven't figured it out yet and she's going to keep it that way. Throwing her hair into a messy plait she leaves the bedroom and enters the kitchen for a snack. But bossyboots Carlton orders her out again. 

'Go and get some wine. Or pick up Juliet. Or both.' 

She kisses him on the back of the neck before he can shoo her away, slipping her hand inside his pocket to steal his car keys as she does so. 

'I felt that,' he says as she heads outside.

***

Juliet's putting the final touches on her makeup when someone knocks at the door. Before she opens it she knows it's Shawn, so she isn't surprised when her girlfriend pushes her way inside to kiss Juliet so hard and deep that for a moment she can't breathe. 

When they break apart they're both grinning like idiots. 

'Ready?' asks Shawn. 

They head to the nearest bodega for a bottle of wine. They hold hands the entire time, ignoring the disapproving looks of an elderly customer. (At least, until Shawn leans over and whispers, 'She's just jealous because I'm black.' Juliet wisely doesn't reply.)

Back at Carlton and Shawn's place, dinner is being laid on the table as they walk in. Both women kiss Carlton before sitting down. 

'This smells great!' says Juliet, loading her plate with a little of everything. For a while there is silence, broken only by the sound of food being eaten and Carlton telling off Shawn for stealing the corncobs from his plate. 

When the food is gone Juliet and Carlton lean back in their chairs, hands on their stomachs and satisfied smiles on their faces. But Shawn still looks hungry.

'Is there dessert?' 

Carlton groans and shakes his head. Shawn's face falls. 

Juliet takes pity on her and says, 'There's probably ice cream at the park, we could go there?' 

Shawn nods and gets up to go, but it takes a while for the other two to be ready. Eventually they drag themselves from their chairs and go.

***

The park is blessedly free of children. This does mean that there are no food vendors around, but Carlton doesn't much care. He doesn't particularly enjoy sweet foods, and he's still very full from dinner. He's also just the tiniest bit tipsy, and it's probably the wine that makes him ask, 'What do you think the future holds?'

'For us?' asks Juliet. She always knows exactly what he means, even if he doesn't always say it correctly.

Shawn rolls her eyes. 'Easy. In five years I will have my own basic cable show called "Shawn Spencer, Psychic Extraordinaire, with Magic Head." And I'll make enough money that you two never have to work again, so you can spend all day fishing or mountain biking or whatever.'

'No one will give you your own show, Shawn. And who the hell is Magic Head?' says Carlton.

'Gus. And I will too get my own show, I have an excellent agent. Me!'

Carlton laughs. 'It doesn't matter how much money you make, Shawn, because in five years time the Chief will have either retired to be with her family or she'll move to a different station, and she'll name me the new Chief of Police.' His chest swells just thinking about it. 

'And you'll make me Lead Psychic, right?'

'There's no such thing as -'

'If you're going to be Chief of Police, then I'll be the Head Detective,' says Juliet, quietly stepping between them. 'Or maybe I'll just leapfrog you and become Chief myself!' She nudges him gently, and he throws an arm around her shoulders. 

'But we'll all be together, right?' says Shawn, a shade quieter than normal. Juliet pulls her close, and Carlton strokes her arm. 

'Of course,' he says. 

*** 

They do a few laps of the park, chatting about their future and their past. Shawn gradually forgets that she wants dessert, especially when Juliet's hand keeps dropping further and further down her hip until it rests firmly on her butt. 

Carlton's hand has strayed to the front of Juliet's blouse, and Shawn can see him gently teasing her nipple until it becomes firm. Shawn wonders if there's a place in the park where they can all have sex, but the only place she can see is the public bathroom, and she'll never be horny enough for that. So she suggests they all head home, and they change direction so quickly that Shawn knows they were all thinking the same thing. 

When the front door shuts Juliet immediately kicks off her heels, and Shawn wishes she hadn't worn sneakers under her skirt. She manages to kick them off anyway and she and Juliet run, giggling, to the bedroom, leaving Carlton in the living room, cursing as he tries to untie the laces on his 'casual gentlemen's shoes'. 

Inside the bedroom Shawn pulls Juliet close, kissing her everywhere she can reach - her lips, her neck, even her hair. Juliet is just as enthusiastic, her hands fumbling over Shawn's blouse buttons. 

Suddenly there is a warm body at Shawn's back. Carlton moves her hair away from her neck and sucks on the side of her neck, hard enough to leave a mark. Shawn gasps aloud and it spurs the other two on - Juliet tugs off Shawn’s shirt and gets to work on her own, and Carlton grabs Shawn's hips and pulls her against him, hard. Shawn's cry is swallowed by Juliet as she nibbles on Shawn's lower lip. 

With one hand she tangles her fingers in Juliet's hair, pulling her girlfriend closer and rocking her hips gently against hers. With her other she reaches behind her, slipping her hand in Carlton's pants and gently tugging on his rock-hard cock. He groans and lets go of her hips, undoing his pants to give Shawn better access. 

Someone - it's difficult to tell who - propels them forward until Juliet's legs hit the mattress. She sits down, pulling Shawn forward and running her tongue over Shawn's smooth, pale belly. 

Carlton follows them, kicking away his pants as he does. One hand slips beneath her panties, his fingers sliding effortlessly between the hot, slick folds of her pussy. His other hand reaches for Juliet, leaning around Shawn and pulling her forward for a kiss. 

Together Juliet and Shawn undo the zipper on Shawn's skirt and tug it down. Juliet pulls ineffectively at her own pants, but she has to stand up before they come off. 

All three of them are naked now and there is a pause while they each drink the sight of the others in. Carlton is breathing heavily, one hand of each of his girlfriends' hips. They smile at him, and then at each other, and without any words the two women kiss, bodies pressed against each other and it is so ridiculously arousing that Carlton goes weak at the knees, taking himself in hand and tugging himself so hard it hurts. 

Shawn steps away from Juliet and turns towards Carlton, running her fingers through his chest hair and grabbing at his hips, turning and pushing him until his back hits the mattress. Both women climb on top of him, one settling on his stomach, just above his achingly hard cock, while another sits astride his face, blocking the light. His hands reach up to grab his girlfriend's hip and he pulls her down onto him as he licks and sucks every inch of her that he can reach.

Juliet is in heaven. Carlton is gripping her hips so tightly that she can feel his fingernails digging in, and what he's doing with his tongue feels so incredibly good that she's having trouble holding herself upright. But in front of her is Shawn, who keeps shifting her hips back and forth like she's enjoying teasing Carlton, which she probably is. She leans down and flicks her tongue across Juliet's nipple.

'Holy shit!' says Juliet, the first thing she's said since they got back from the park. The first coherent thing, anyway. 

Shawn grins at her girlfriend and keeps licking, enjoying Juliet's moans of delight. She wriggles her hips faster, so the very tip of her clit slides across the underside of Carlton's cock. His voice is muffled by Juliet's pussy, but she's pretty sure she can hear him making noises of approval. But she can feel her skin growing hotter and if she doesn't get him inside of her _now_ she's worried she might literally die. 

So she moves backwards, slides a condom on her boyfriend with the ease of having done it a hundred times before (okay, forty-three) and lower herself onto his erection. She's so wet she slides down on him without any lubrication, and even with his voice muffled she can hear him cry out. 

He's having a little trouble breathing, so he lifts Juliet away from his face, ignoring her soft cry of complaint. Instead he slides two fingers inside her, crooking them at just the right angle to make her throw her head back and scream. He's surprised at how loud she is, although it's a little hard to tell since Juliet's thighs are clamped around his ears. He takes it as a sign to slide a third finger inside her, but this time he can't hear her at all, since her tongue is inside Shawn's mouth. 

She never wants this to end. But Shawn is kissing her so deeply, and tugging on her nipples, and Carlton's fingers are stroking her in _exactly_ the right spot and now he's sucking gently on her clit and she wants it to go on but she can't hold it in she can't it's all so overwhelming and so she cries out as the orgasm washes over her, pushing her forward so her head hits Shawn's shoulder and she's grateful because she can't hold herself up anymore but Juliet feels so good she doesn't even care. 

The sight of Juliet having probably the best orgasm she's ever had is enough to send Shawn over the edge as well and she comes hard, panting into Juliet's neck as she does. She can feel Carlton beneath her, bucking and roaring beneath the weight of two women as he comes. 

When her breathing returns to normal and she can see again Shawn wants to lie down but Juliet hasn't moved and Shawn thinks she might have actually dozed off. She peers around Juliet's now-messy hair to see how Carlton's doing. He's awake but he's eyes aren't in focus, a sight she's grown used to. She smiles to herself, nudges Juliet until she's comfortably nestled beside Carlton, and then removes his condom, throwing it neatly into the waste paper basket in the corner. Then she drags a blanket over the three of them, curls underneath it and promptly falls asleep. 

***

He's slept through his alarm, which _never_ happens, even when he's woken in the middle of the night by Shawn's snoring. But he lies back to enjoy his bliss, even though it takes him a moment to remember why he feels so happy. A glance to his left reveals Shawn's sleeping face, her gorgeous hair framing a lightly tanned face, eyes closed and mouth wide open, a little spot of drool on her lower lip. He can't resist kissing her on the forehead. She mumbles a little and curls against him, head nestled firmly into the crook of his arm. 

Before he can realise who's missing, Juliet backs into the room, turning to reveal a tray stacked high with pancakes and fruit. Beside him, Shawn sits up quickly. 

'I made breakfast!' says Juliet cheerily. She places the tray across Carlton's knees, kissing he and Shawn before helping herself to a strawberry. 

'Thanks baby,' says Carlton. Shawn says nothing, cramming two pancakes into her mouth like she hasn't eaten in a week. 

They eat in silence, stopping occasionally for quick kisses between bites. This does result in Juliet getting a smear of banana on her cheek, but Shawn licks it away.

'Are we doing anything today?' asks Shawn when she's successfully stolen the last piece of apple from Carlton.

Juliet shrugs. 'I promised my parents I'd have dinner with them. Ewan is back in town and I want to see him.'

'And I have a few leads I need to chase up,' says Carlton. 

Shawn rolls her eyes. 'It's Sunday, Carlton. Don't work today.'

'Crime doesn't rest, and neither do I.'

'Well, I have some leads of my own I want to "chase up". With Gus.'

'Playing "Call of Duty" isn't a case, Shawn,' says Juliet. 

'It is if you're investigating the case of how come a couple of fourteen year olds keep beating us online. Seriously, how are they so good? They must be juicing.' 

Carlton leaves them to their argument by having a quick shower. When he returns they're laughing about something, and he smiles at them.

'So, if we're not hanging out today, are we at least having dinner?' says Shawn.

Juliet nods. 'Chinese. My treat. But it has to be here, my table isn't big enough for the three of us.'

'Which is why you should move in here, Jules!' 

Carlton kisses them both, gets dressed, and leaves the house. The sun is shining, there are bad guys to catch, and his home life is fuller than he ever could have hoped for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was meant to be ten chapters and somehow turned into twenty-five. That wasn't what I planned but I did go into more depth with these characters and their relationship, and I hope I did them justice. This is also the first time I've written a poly relationship, and I hope I got it right. Ditto with a threesome. I feel like I was a little cruel to Jules, and I'm not sure why, especially since she's one of my favourite characters, even if I'm not always happy with how she's represented on the show. I made Shawn more mature in this fic than she is in the show, mostly because the story demanded it. Also Shawn is way harder to write than I thought she'd be. This fic wasn't anywhere near as funny as I wanted it to be, and while I was re-watching the show I realised it's that a lot of the humour comes from the banter between Shawn and Gus. In a sequel which may or may not get written Gus will feature pretty heavily, so hopefully that one will be funnier. And will get written.   
> Thanks for sticking with me on this crazy journey! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. And as always, if you have thoughts, or critiques, or complaints, feel free to leave me a comment.


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